Category: Blog


May 29, 2024
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intothisshadow

New Glasses!

New Glasses!

Got my new glasses today! My very first varifocal ones! ✨ I was very nervous about them because I’ve heard that some people have troubles getting used to them, although my Mom, who has been wearing varifocals for like a couple of decades if not longer, said she had no problems at all. Just a few days of getting used to just because they’re different, but no real problems at all. 

So far so good! I put the new glasses on right away in the shop, and been wearing them for about 3,5 hours now, in the big shopping centre, in my local grocery store and here at home so pretty much doing my most usual stuff. No problems so far, just have noticed some minor differences to the old ones that mean I have a turn my head a little bit more than before just turning my eyes was enough. And that when I walk and look downwards close to in front of me, the tiles/ground is a little blurry because that’s the reading area but it not a problem – I don’t think it’ll affect things like going up or down the stairs or something like that. Didn’t need to do that today so I have no experience about that yet though!

Reading my smart phones screen is much for comfortable now though! I am actually a little surprised about that! I knew it used to be better before and that now I only could do it for a short while such as checking bus schedules and WhatsApp/text messages while out and about to see if there’s changes to where/when to we’ll meet, but I hadn’t realized how uncomfortable it in reality was. I just knew I couldn’t read longer stuff like news or fiction because my right eye would start to water after a while of that and my sight would go blurry. But now it feels like normal, I guess! 

I haven’t read a book yet, or written using pen and paper and I can’t wait to find out about those things! Being unable to read for a long time was the reason why I got these – my far sight was almost unchanged but reading/near sight had become so much poorer that I was practically forced to get new glasses because of that.

I hope my eye sight stays unchanged now for years and years and years. These are I think the 5th new glasses in the last 9 years? My eye sight remained unchanged for about 18 years, but suddenly it started to go worse quickly. A couple of times the new glasses were only good for a year before I couldn’t see again, and a couple of times they’re good for about 3 years. The optician said that it’s normal to start to have that happen when turning 40. And also my illnesses and meds can have an effect on my eyes and eyesight, although there are no current outward signs of that. Whatever the case, I’m fed up having to buy glasses every few years!

I had arranged to meet up with my Mom in the shopping centre while fetching my new glasses; she was also getting fitted for new glasses but in an another shop (there are at least 2 optician/eye glasses shops in that shopping centre). My Mom isn’t allowed to have her glasses prescribed by an optician and she always needs to see an eye doctor. She did that last week, and because she always gets eye drops put in her eyes that blur her vision for many hours, she can never see the eye doctor and select new glasses on the same trip. So she came out today to select new ones. My new glasses cost 509 euros and included prescription sun-glasses for free, but my Mom’s even more expensive – hers cost just over 1000 euros and she also got prescription sun-glasses for free. She always curses that she can’t get glasses cheaply or for a moderate price – even when she was specifically told by the eye doctor to buy cheap classes because she might not be able to use them for even a year before the cataract became so bad it needed to operated on, the cheapest glasses she was able to get still cost 400 euros. While it seems like everyone around us buy glasses and they only cost 200 euros at most in the same shops. It sucks to had such a bad eye sight! Mine’s not as bad hers, but apparently still worse than a lot of other peoples. My cheapest glasses as an adult cost 300 euros and I purposely left out one of the comfort modifications – that would have hiked the price by another 100. And now that I need varifocals it’s always going to be even more expensive from now on. Next time I’m lucky if I can’t get new varifocals even for 509 euros, considering prices going up all the time.

Mom and I talked about prices of glasses and we’re convinced that there must be a lot air in the regular prices when the shops are able to sell a 1000 euros for glasses + another pair of the same price for free when the real price would be 2000 for both. Why not sell with sensible/moderate prices??

But in any case – very excited to have my first varifocals! 💖 And very excited and curious to see how reading  a book goes as well as writing with a pen and paper! ✨



May 28, 2024
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intothisshadow

Heat Wave!

Heat Wave!

Well, we’re into the 12th day of this year’s first heat wave and have broken one earlier May record, and could break another too – exciting times! Not. Didn’t really notice the first 8-9 days or so, helped by the fact that I was at the AKSE course at the hotel/spa for the first week of the hot weather and the room we usually used there was very well air conditioned indeed. So I only felt it during commuting back and forth every day and mornings were still more on the chilly side then. But NOW I’m feeling it…

I’m done with heat now, weather gods, please – bye bye hot weather, be gone now! 🙏

(forecast says heat wave will continue until at least Saturday, possibly longer)

(summer has officially begun now that I’ve complained about too hot weather for the first time in 2024!)



May 27, 2024
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intothisshadow

Question of the Day – April 2024

Question of the Day – April 2024

By spiffikins  at https://spiffikins.dreamwidth.org/1251745.html Only a month late…

 

1. What Is Your Favorite Type of Art?

I’m not sure I have a favorite… for creating it, I enjoy puttering around in Photoshop and making wallpapers. I’ve been doing that for 20+ years and still love it. In the recent years I’ve started to do some manual, non-computer art such acrylic pouring and which is so much fun. I also dabble with watercolors but I’m too impatient/exhausted to improve in it much because I don’t have to energy or patience to do enough tutorials to really learn it. So it’s more like a toddler drawing and painting with watercolors LOL But it’s fun and relaxes me and that’s the import part. Maybe it’s more craft than art though!

I admire certain singers who have an amazing voice very much. Such as Ofra Haza. And I have general admiration to writers who put out a new novel every year. And people who can draw realistically. And…

2. What Skill Could You Teach in Two Minutes?

I’m not sure… all that I can think of, would take more than 2 minutes…. Continue reading



May 24, 2024
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intothisshadow

The Friday Five for 24 May 2024

The Friday Five for 24 May 2024

Answers to today’s questions over at thefridayfive

1. What’s the happiest thing to ever happen to you?

I… don’t know. I can’t think of anything that would fit the “happiest”. Lately I’ve been noticing I’m having problems thinking and feeling positive things, and can’t usully name when I’ve felt an extreme emotion. I was happy to study to be a librarian/library clerk, and I was very happy every time I got a temp job (Because more money! Work I like a lot!) And my Mom’s dog, Caro the Beagle, made me very happy indeed whenever I saw her!

But I can’t name the happiest thing that ever happened to me, and am not sure if that’s because it hasn’t happened to me, or because I think feel/think of one because I’ve been a little depressed for years due all the chronic illnesses and money troubles. On the other hand, I don’t think I’ve ever been one to feel extreme emotions but just always been a pretty steady line emotionally. So I’m not sure… I think, if someone put a gun to my head, I’d say Caro the Beagle. I think she’s probably the closest to the happiest thing that ever happened to me!

2. What’s the saddest thing to ever happen to you?

Either that my Dad died of brain cancer just before my 15th birthday.

Or the narrowness of the life I am able to lead, as result of the chronic illnesses themselves, but also the way they have made me unable to work for 16 years, and the social and financial loss that brings and the bureautic troubles, and that I can’t see no real change to this state of being in foreseeable future. All that is also intertwined with the way this circumstance has resulted in permanent poverty without ease for the last 16 years, with also no change to that in the foreseeable future. The way the chronic illnesses and poverty rules my life and makes my possibilities so narrow makes me feel awfully sad every time I really think about it.

I can’t say which I feel is the saddest thing. I dealt with my Dad’s death decades ago, but I’m grappling every day with the other and so far I haven’t found a way to completely accept that this is my life.

3. What’s the thing that got you the most angry in your life?

Finland’s current far right government and its “destroy the unemployed, the poor and the working man” policies are making me hate them, each minister and party member each and everyone one, both individually and as a group. I’ve never been this angry this long about anything before, but they are making me actually really truly hate them – I’ve never truly hated anyone before, and I don’t like the experience.

4. What’s the most frightening thing to ever happen to you?

This current far right government.

5. What’s the most unbelievable thing to happen to you in your life?

I think it’s kind of unbelievable that somehow I have so many serious chronic illnesses and health problems. I guess I won the “manifest really bad genetics” lottery!



May 20, 2024
2
intothisshadow

Random Health & Personal Notes

Random Health & Personal Notes

  • I received my new mattresses and the new couch exactly two weeks ago! The new couch (shown above) is lovely, and very good to sit on. I was rather worried that the new matresses wouldn’t be firm enough – my old one felt like there was almost no give, and when I slept on softer beds in a hotel or at my Mom’s, my back would hurt after a two nights. But I’ve slept on the new mattresses for 12 nights now and it’s great! Feels firm just like my old one, and both my lower back and bra-area back actually feel better! Not as stiff, and they don’t hurt as much. That happened immediately after the first night! I dare say now that I’m happy with the new mattresses ❤️
  • I participated in a Vocational Rehabilitation Assessment that lasted for 10 days and happened over two months, April and May. 4 days, 1 day and 5 days. It ended on Friday, and I haven’t yet received the official summary, findings and recommendation that they will write for me, but I know it will recommend me for intensive medical rehabilitation, either neurological or musculoskeletal disorders because I have various pains around my body in addition to the head pain because of migraine and stomach pains because of Crohn’s Disease. The doctor in his assessment also mentioned that my pains might be Fibromyalgia in nature. That hasn’t been mentioned to me ever before by any doctor, but I’ve looked a bit into it myself because it keeps coming up when researching my symptoms. I just somehow have thought my symptoms are too mild for Fibromyalgia? I don’t know. I guess it’s something to bring to my GP, see what they think. So next step later this week is to try and make an appointment with my GP in order to get the required medical certificate with which to apply to the intensive medical rehabilitation and to talk about the Fibromyalgia thing, and the sleep study that I did a couple of months ago. The appointment will probably take a couple of months to happen, so the intensive medical rehabilitation might likely begin in the fall the earliest. The Doctor of the assessment also recommended rehabilitative work arranged by unemployment agency and county wellbeing services. I did that before COVID-19 and it was good for exploring my functional and working ability. To that end:
  • I have an appointment with the unemployment agency in early June where I’ll learn what they want me to do, likely rehabilitative work at least. 
  • Had my vision checked today, and as suspected because reading things like small text product information on containers while shopping has become impossible, I need varifocal glasses. My first ones! Ordered them, should get them in about 1,5 weeks. They had a an offer going and I got varifocal sunglasses for completely free! It’s still not cheap – 509 euros, but that’s for two varifocal glasses. The normal combined price for them would’ve been 1000+ euros. There’s a lot of air in the normal prices if they can offer 509 euros glasses completely free.
  • I’ve been fighting with KELA all this year. Every month they make incorrect decision about my financial assistance, and I have to calculate the things for them and request a re-check. So far they always corrected it, but it’s fucking stressful because the delays mean I don’t get my financial assistance for the electricity bill, medical bills and medications in time. I always get them, but have to juggle all my money to be able to buy my meds in time. And the errors KELA makes in their calculations are basic ones that they’ve never done before – only after the new regulations issued by the right wing government have come into effect. I think they make them automatically with a formulaic program, and then don’t have any human to check circumstances of the applicant and the results for correctness in those specific circumstances. And I think this is by design because a lot of people trust blindly the decision is correct, and/or sadly it’s too difficult to for them to ask for re-check and tell KELA why it should be re-checked. And I think it’s by design by because the orders from the current government are to cut and save wherever possible, especially when it comes to the unemployed, the poor and the sick. There are a lot of people in the Facebook unemployment and chronic illness groups experiencing this same thing this year. But at least in my case, KELA is just making more work for itself, while simultaneously complaining of too much work, because I will fucking request a re-check every fucking time it’s needed.