Category: Personal


May 28, 2024
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intothisshadow

Heat Wave!

Heat Wave!

Well, we’re into the 12th day of this year’s first heat wave and have broken one earlier May record, and could break another too – exciting times! Not. Didn’t really notice the first 8-9 days or so, helped by the fact that I was at the AKSE course at the hotel/spa for the first week of the hot weather and the room we usually used there was very well air conditioned indeed. So I only felt it during commuting back and forth every day and mornings were still more on the chilly side then. But NOW I’m feeling it…

I’m done with heat now, weather gods, please – bye bye hot weather, be gone now! 🙏

(forecast says heat wave will continue until at least Saturday, possibly longer)

(summer has officially begun now that I’ve complained about too hot weather for the first time in 2024!)



May 27, 2024
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Question of the Day – April 2024

Question of the Day – April 2024

By spiffikins  at https://spiffikins.dreamwidth.org/1251745.html Only a month late…

 

1. What Is Your Favorite Type of Art?

I’m not sure I have a favorite… for creating it, I enjoy puttering around in Photoshop and making wallpapers. I’ve been doing that for 20+ years and still love it. In the recent years I’ve started to do some manual, non-computer art such acrylic pouring and which is so much fun. I also dabble with watercolors but I’m too impatient/exhausted to improve in it much because I don’t have to energy or patience to do enough tutorials to really learn it. So it’s more like a toddler drawing and painting with watercolors LOL But it’s fun and relaxes me and that’s the import part. Maybe it’s more craft than art though!

I admire certain singers who have an amazing voice very much. Such as Ofra Haza. And I have general admiration to writers who put out a new novel every year. And people who can draw realistically. And…

2. What Skill Could You Teach in Two Minutes?

I’m not sure… all that I can think of, would take more than 2 minutes…. Continue reading



May 24, 2024
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The Friday Five for 24 May 2024

The Friday Five for 24 May 2024

Answers to today’s questions over at thefridayfive

1. What’s the happiest thing to ever happen to you?

I… don’t know. I can’t think of anything that would fit the “happiest”. Lately I’ve been noticing I’m having problems thinking and feeling positive things, and can’t usully name when I’ve felt an extreme emotion. I was happy to study to be a librarian/library clerk, and I was very happy every time I got a temp job (Because more money! Work I like a lot!) And my Mom’s dog, Caro the Beagle, made me very happy indeed whenever I saw her!

But I can’t name the happiest thing that ever happened to me, and am not sure if that’s because it hasn’t happened to me, or because I think feel/think of one because I’ve been a little depressed for years due all the chronic illnesses and money troubles. On the other hand, I don’t think I’ve ever been one to feel extreme emotions but just always been a pretty steady line emotionally. So I’m not sure… I think, if someone put a gun to my head, I’d say Caro the Beagle. I think she’s probably the closest to the happiest thing that ever happened to me!

2. What’s the saddest thing to ever happen to you?

Either that my Dad died of brain cancer just before my 15th birthday.

Or the narrowness of the life I am able to lead, as result of the chronic illnesses themselves, but also the way they have made me unable to work for 16 years, and the social and financial loss that brings and the bureautic troubles, and that I can’t see no real change to this state of being in foreseeable future. All that is also intertwined with the way this circumstance has resulted in permanent poverty without ease for the last 16 years, with also no change to that in the foreseeable future. The way the chronic illnesses and poverty rules my life and makes my possibilities so narrow makes me feel awfully sad every time I really think about it.

I can’t say which I feel is the saddest thing. I dealt with my Dad’s death decades ago, but I’m grappling every day with the other and so far I haven’t found a way to completely accept that this is my life.

3. What’s the thing that got you the most angry in your life?

Finland’s current far right government and its “destroy the unemployed, the poor and the working man” policies are making me hate them, each minister and party member each and everyone one, both individually and as a group. I’ve never been this angry this long about anything before, but they are making me actually really truly hate them – I’ve never truly hated anyone before, and I don’t like the experience.

4. What’s the most frightening thing to ever happen to you?

This current far right government.

5. What’s the most unbelievable thing to happen to you in your life?

I think it’s kind of unbelievable that somehow I have so many serious chronic illnesses and health problems. I guess I won the “manifest really bad genetics” lottery!



May 20, 2024
2
intothisshadow

Random Health & Personal Notes

Random Health & Personal Notes

  • I received my new mattresses and the new couch exactly two weeks ago! The new couch (shown above) is lovely, and very good to sit on. I was rather worried that the new matresses wouldn’t be firm enough – my old one felt like there was almost no give, and when I slept on softer beds in a hotel or at my Mom’s, my back would hurt after a two nights. But I’ve slept on the new mattresses for 12 nights now and it’s great! Feels firm just like my old one, and both my lower back and bra-area back actually feel better! Not as stiff, and they don’t hurt as much. That happened immediately after the first night! I dare say now that I’m happy with the new mattresses ❤️
  • I participated in a Vocational Rehabilitation Assessment that lasted for 10 days and happened over two months, April and May. 4 days, 1 day and 5 days. It ended on Friday, and I haven’t yet received the official summary, findings and recommendation that they will write for me, but I know it will recommend me for intensive medical rehabilitation, either neurological or musculoskeletal disorders because I have various pains around my body in addition to the head pain because of migraine and stomach pains because of Crohn’s Disease. The doctor in his assessment also mentioned that my pains might be Fibromyalgia in nature. That hasn’t been mentioned to me ever before by any doctor, but I’ve looked a bit into it myself because it keeps coming up when researching my symptoms. I just somehow have thought my symptoms are too mild for Fibromyalgia? I don’t know. I guess it’s something to bring to my GP, see what they think. So next step later this week is to try and make an appointment with my GP in order to get the required medical certificate with which to apply to the intensive medical rehabilitation and to talk about the Fibromyalgia thing, and the sleep study that I did a couple of months ago. The appointment will probably take a couple of months to happen, so the intensive medical rehabilitation might likely begin in the fall the earliest. The Doctor of the assessment also recommended rehabilitative work arranged by unemployment agency and county wellbeing services. I did that before COVID-19 and it was good for exploring my functional and working ability. To that end:
  • I have an appointment with the unemployment agency in early June where I’ll learn what they want me to do, likely rehabilitative work at least. 
  • Had my vision checked today, and as suspected because reading things like small text product information on containers while shopping has become impossible, I need varifocal glasses. My first ones! Ordered them, should get them in about 1,5 weeks. They had a an offer going and I got varifocal sunglasses for completely free! It’s still not cheap – 509 euros, but that’s for two varifocal glasses. The normal combined price for them would’ve been 1000+ euros. There’s a lot of air in the normal prices if they can offer 509 euros glasses completely free.
  • I’ve been fighting with KELA all this year. Every month they make incorrect decision about my financial assistance, and I have to calculate the things for them and request a re-check. So far they always corrected it, but it’s fucking stressful because the delays mean I don’t get my financial assistance for the electricity bill, medical bills and medications in time. I always get them, but have to juggle all my money to be able to buy my meds in time. And the errors KELA makes in their calculations are basic ones that they’ve never done before – only after the new regulations issued by the right wing government have come into effect. I think they make them automatically with a formulaic program, and then don’t have any human to check circumstances of the applicant and the results for correctness in those specific circumstances. And I think this is by design because a lot of people trust blindly the decision is correct, and/or sadly it’s too difficult to for them to ask for re-check and tell KELA why it should be re-checked. And I think it’s by design by because the orders from the current government are to cut and save wherever possible, especially when it comes to the unemployed, the poor and the sick. There are a lot of people in the Facebook unemployment and chronic illness groups experiencing this same thing this year. But at least in my case, KELA is just making more work for itself, while simultaneously complaining of too much work, because I will fucking request a re-check every fucking time it’s needed.


May 17, 2024
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The Friday Five for 17 May 2024

The Friday Five for 17 May 2024

Answers to today’s questions @thefridayfive

1) Is summer a break for you, or is it busier?

Back when I was healthy and working – it could be either depending on the year. Sometimes I’d be unemployed and didn’t have anything to do, and sometimes I was hired either specifically as a summer temp (for about two months), or working through the summer was expressly part of longer job deal (4 months up to a year). For those longer deals, I could get the vacation compasated with money if I wasn’t able to take vacation days (or just didn’t want to and would rather have it as money), or I could take my vacation time either at the end of the job, or a few days at a time all the way through except for the two months the permanent workers had their summer vacations. For the short temps, vacation time was always paid out as money.

Since becoming ill, summers are pretty much the same as any other time of the year for me. Once or twice I’ve had some unemployment agency mandated activity or a rehabilitation course during summer. But mostly it’s the same as any time of the year and not busy at all.

2) What’s next for your travel plans?

I have no travel plans.

3) What have you spontaneously done lately?

I moved my sites to a new host pretty spontaneously last month. I had fleetingly thought about it a few times in the previous few months, due to wanting a possibly lower price and because the sites had started to get kinda slow on then-host, but hadn’t really seriously entertained the idea and hadn’t thought about which host terribly much. But then one afternoon, I made the decision to move suddenly in about 10 minutes after reading good reviews from fellow fansite owners about Asura Hosting.

4) What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?

Watching a good tv show and/or reading.

5) What’s in your pockets?

I don’t wear clothes with pockets when I’m home, only when I leave the house to run errands. And then only have pockets if I have a coat on (none of my shirts or trousers have pockets at all!). I always have the following things in my pockets:

Left pocket: paper handkerchiefs, keys, small bottle of spray hand sanitizer
Right pocket: my smart phone, lip balm, clip-on sunglasses unless I’m wearing them, bus travel card (for the local public transport). Oh and my ID card, library card and KELA card are in the tiny slit pockets of the phone wallet case so I guess I carry those too in my pocket just because the phone is in my pocket!

Additionally, any sharp(ish) items I need to carry temporarily always go into the left pocket to avoid scratching/breaking the phone even though it’s in a wallet case – I feel like I still need to be careful with the phone ’cause they cost so much!