meme & asks

Answers to questions at https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/139656.html

1. Have you ever been to summer camp?

Nope. I never wanted to go. I have never liked big groups and crowds, and by the time the school year was over, all I wanted was to was to be by myself alone, or with my friends (1-2 friends), or at the most, when I was in years 1-2, with the small family day care group (2-3 kids in addition to me). And by the time I was in year 3, I had negotiated with my parents that I could be alone at home those weeks my parents weren’t on summer leave. The family day carer was a neighbor and lived in the same apartment building, so Mom and Dad made a deal with her that I can always go to her if I get scared or lonely or anything. I never did - didn’t need to: I loved being alone at home or with my 1-2 close friends at home/the yard/on biking adventures or whatever..

2. Have you ever made a s'more?

Nope, those are not a thing here.

3. Have you ever slept under the stars (no tent/tarp)?

I’m not entirely sure! We used to spend most of the summers camping when I was a kid, with a tent. I vaguely think we might have slept under the stars as a novelty/treat once or twice, but I don’t really remember it. The nights were never that warm in the 80s when we were camping; sleeping in sleeping bags, wearing long johns, inside the tent was just comfortable enough, and rain was likely whenever, so if we did, it was just a special treat when circumstances were just weirdly right!

4. Have you ever had a member of the opposite sex sleep over at your house?

As a kid sleep over party? Nope.

5. What type of bed do you have (queen, twin, bunk, etc.)?

My bed is 120cm x 200cm - no idea how that translates to US sizes. It’s technically wide enough for two, but I’ve slept on that size bed my whole life (except for the 2 years I was living in student housing while doing library studies - that bed was provided by the housing and was 80xm x 200cm and felt way too narrow and cramped - I almost fell off many times, not being used to narrow bed like that.) and if I ever acquire a long-term bed partner, I’d need to buy a bigger bed in order to sleep comfortably. The bed frame is made of wood and is about 25 years old but doesn’t show any sign of wear and tear.

My mattress is quite hard and I love it that way - it feels like it doesn’t give under me, but it does just a little. I love softer mattresses too, but after sleeping on one for more than 2 nights, my lower back starts to hurt and I can hard get up and move. So softer mattresses a nope for me. Last year we had to buy a new mattress and mattress topping, and it was surprisingly difficult! Few places sold only mattresses (and none of the big furniture stores had traditional bed frames for sale, ones like mine is.). Now it’s all jenkkisänky (I think it’s called continental bed in English) - they were all selling the whole damn bed system complete with a frame-mattress-bottom-with-legs, the mattress and the mattress topping! One place was able to order just the mattress and mattress topping for me, finally, because I already have a great wooden frame.

Here's my answers to today's questions at https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/139433.html

1. What sets you apart from your friends?

Two things:

- I several serious chronic illnesses that impact my ability to have a job or just live a life.

- I'm adopted. I've only ever personally known one person in my regular circles who was adopted too. She was a class mate of mine in comprehensive school.

I looked at the statistics from 1987-2023 out of curiosity and there were about 90-250 adoptions every year, not counting adoptions from abroad which added maybe another 200 to number per year. So adoptions are quite rare and they have been going down for a long time, too.

2. What sets you apart from your family?

Same answers as #1.

3. What sets you apart from your coworkers/fellow students?

I don't have either now. Once I finished comprehensive school and started vocational school and then entered work life, I've never personally met anyone else who was also adopted or at least no one I got to know well enough to share what our families are like. I only once heard about a co-worker in one of my temp jobs about to adopt a child from abroad but I never met them as I was temping for that exactly that person. I've met people who know other people (usually one) who had adopted but meeting other adoptees out in the wild never happens... unless it's a support group for adoptees or something else that is designed to bring them together.

4. What is the one thing about you that is most unique?

Not sure. If not counting the chronic illnesses and being adopted, the things that used to make me unique are pretty common now that fandom has gone mainstream and also because I don't have the energy to be so active in fandom anymore.

5. What is your most interesting quality?

You'd have to ask that from somebody other than me!

Questions from https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/138441.html

1. What is your all time favorite book?

I answered this for another the friday five set a year ago, so here's a copy/paste of that one because the answer is still the same!

I don't have singular favorite books that stand above all the others no matter what genre they are. More like I have some favorites in a few genres and they tend to change sometimes depending on my mood and what new books I have read. But here's some that have remain on the favorite lists for a long while:

Scifi favorites: The Expanse book series by James S. A. Corey and Seveneves by Neal Stephenson. These two revealed to me that I can love modern scifi in novel format very much! I've never enjoyed reading classic older scifi such as Asimov or Herbert or Le Guin and and didn't care for the more modern ones either that I found either and for a long time it felt like that only what's in my libraries so I stopped looking at some point and just watched all the scifi tv and movies I could get my hands on. Then I came across Seveneves, then started watching The Expanse tv series and read those books and then started to look at what the readers of those properties had also liked and found some newer hard scifi (in English) that I liked.

Scifi/paranormal/supernatural/speculative fiction faves: Whispers, Lightning and House of Thunder all by Dean R. Koontz. Koontz used to write really good books!

2. What is your all time favorite movie?

The first movies that always immediately pop up in my mind when I see this question are The Last of the Mohicans and The Piano. So I guess those two are my all time faves! Although Alien and Aliens should also make that list for scifi.

3. What are you reading right now?

There are several books I'm currently reading!

Most actively I'm working on Rakel by Satu Rämö (because I won't be able to renew it due to there being 1850+ holds on it). The Satu Rämö Hildur book series is hugely successful and popular - she's a Finn living in Iceland is writing a fictional crime series of a Icelandic detective Hildur and a Finnish-police-student-who-moved-to-Iceland Jakob working together in Iceland, solving crimes and Hildur's family mysteries and crimes. I loved the first two books in the series, but was disappointed by the 3rd one which was supposed to focus on Jakob but didn't (even the book's name was Jakob!), and this 4th installment is about Hildur's mother Rakel. I like the current timeline mysteries/crimes solving but I'm totally uninterested in the chapters set in early 1990s and which are of Rakel's POV and life. But yeah, I have to focus on reading this one because I'll have to return it in 3 weeks. Luckily it's easy to read and not a thick one.

The book I'm most excited about is Piirileikki by Carin Gerhadsen though! It's a 4th in the crime series about a Hammarby murder squad. I loved all the three previous books in the series I've read, but you really need to read them in correct order. This one is sort of my reward for reading a bit of Rakel every day.

Another book that I really should start is Peilityyni by Riina Raevaara. Another in a series, this time about a scientist who gets involved in sciency dangers/mysteries and whose own past has sciency secrets as well. This book also has about 50 holds on it waiting, so I probably won't be able to renew it when the due date is in 3 weeks. Which I only realized while checking my list of library books for this question! So I really need to get started on that, and leave the Carin Gerhardsen to the side for now. Tiina Raevaara is a Finnish author so that's nice!

Other books I've also started on: Ashley Bell by Dean R. Koontz, The Last Testament by Sam Bourne and Ilmetty (The Likeness) by Tana French.

Ashley Bell is weird in that I'm not sure whether I have read it already or not! I'm pretty sure I've read shorter something involving the same name by Koontz before, then there was this brick of a book that I'm not sure if I've read it or not, I just remember being confused about this title before in the same way but I don't remember whether I read this brick too or not! Also I find myself skipping a lot - too much purple prose, seemingly unrelated heroics by  the main character's Navy SEAL boyfriend on the other side of the world, and there's so much details about guns and everyone seems to happy to carry a gun and 'cause everybody carrying a gun and being gun happy isn't a thing here in Finland, it seems really weird and off and MAGA. I've noticed that gun thing in a couple of other recent Koontz books too, and it's feeling like he's very gun happy these days. I don't like it. Just in general I'm not sure I like this book, the main character is awfully cutesy so far and so young I can't really connect with her at all.

I'm also reading Työttömyys sattuu : arjen kamppailuja työllistämistoimien rattaissa by Sari Näre, Lena Näre which a sosiolocigal study about the effects of being unemployed for a long time and is compiled from the writing challenge for the unemployed about their experiences, by researcherrs/scholars. This study has been peer reviewed. I didn't write for the challenge, but reading the experiences of other long term unemployed shared for this project, there are so much that could be directly from my own experiences and story. It's a good read but hard, and I can't help but think that the people who the very most need to read it, are the ones who could not be less interested: namely prime minister Petteri Orpo and finance minister Riikka Purra but in general, right wing party people. As well as people who do not have personal experience in being unemployed for a year or more, no matter their political leanings.

I'm also in the middle of Kivinen purje by Åke Edwards. I've read the series before but recently re-watched the tv series made based on the books, got the thirst to read the books again. They're so old now that are no holds on them and I can renew them as much as a I like, so this one is sort of my whenever I don't have anything else to read!

4. What is your favorite show on TV?

This one changes too! If we're talking all time favorites well, obviously Star Trek TOS, TNG and DS9.

If we're talking about currently airing tv shows: The Last of Us. A few weeks ago, it was The Pitt when it aired.

5. What is the last movie you saw in the theater?

I think maybe The Queen? IMDB says it came out in 2007 here in Finland. I went to see it with my Mom – we’re both huge Helen Mirren fans! I liked it because Helen Mirren and she’s always awesome. My migraine went chronic and of breathing hurts kind in 2008 and I can't even think about enduring a movie theatre since then. I don't think I saw another movie in the theatre after The Queen and Helen Mirren but before the migraine went awful. If I did, it was so forgettable that I have no recollection.

A little late... answers to last Friday's questions at f.riday.com.

1. How do you feel about spiders?

Not a fan, but as long as it's a typical small spider that I see around here, I don't mind them.

Any ugly, hairy, big and/or poisonous/deadly-to-humans spiders (and fictional monster spiders) can stay the hell in Australia or wherever with all the other deadly creatures!

2. When in your life was every day a happy day and every night peaceful?

When I was a kid, even as a teenager in school. I had no idea back then, but until my Dad died, I didn't have a true, real worry in the world!

3. When did you last attend a fair, and how was it, and what did you eat?

The summer before COVID, so June/July of 2019. Can't remember which month. It was on one of those rehabilitation activity days (a course arranged jointly by the unemployment office and social services for job seekers with long unemployment and/or health problems); the whole group attended the local fair after the lunch. Basically we all went there together and the day ended at that point (1,5 hours early) and then we were free to disperse and browse along however we wanted and stay or leave as we wished. Me, I was still in such a bad health back then (this was before Ajovy and before my Crohn's Disease symptoms quieted down due to non-Crohn related medication changes) and I was hurting and so physically exhausted (typical after being at the activity), I only peered at some sold-as-handmade jewellery and knives and soaps etc. while walking through the fair to my bus stop that was on the other side of the fair and across a bridge... while praying I'd make it to my bus stop without collapsing. It was a nice weather, not too hot, and it was nice to see all those things being sold and I would have liked to buy one or other thing, but I couldn't afford to buy anything except for maybe an ice cream. So there was no point in rubbing my face in that fact by really looking at the products a lots. And I was feeling too ill to eat anything - I had thought to get a soft ice cream, but by that time I felt like I might throw up if I tried. So I just looked around while I walked through.

4. This weekend, what is likeliest to have you feeling T, double E, double R, double R, double I, double F, double I, double C C C?

Teerrrriiffiicccccc?? Nothing, no matter the spelling. Except winning millions in the lottery which wouldn't happen 'cause I'm not buying lottery tickets.

5. What are some of your favorite children’s books?

The Famous Five by Enid Blyton and the nurse Ursula books by Helen Wells usually come first to mind.

Then also the books I read as a kid but are not children's books:

Watchers by Dean R. Koontz - the first Koontz I ever read, and the one all Koontz (and a lot of other authors) books are forever and ever compared to since.

The Barsoom novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs. I'm not sure whether those are considered children's or YA but they are in the children's sections in libraries here in Finland.

Answers to today's questions at thefridayfive@DW

1. What do you like most: Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays (and why)?

These days there's no preference since I'm not working. Back when I was in school or working, I liked Saturdays the very best because usually it was a free day and I could sleep in and do whatever I wanted. Although once I started working, there usually was at least one Saturday a month I had a shift if the job was longer one. Even then I still liked Saturdays the best - the customers were always happier on Saturdays too, and I always had Sunday off anyway.

Once I finished school, I liked Sundays a lot too because no more home work on Sundays (I always did the next Monday's home work on Sundays) but not as much as Saturdays because Mondays started for school or work, or at least were supposed to be even if unemployed.

I also liked Friday a lot when I was in school - usually Friday's were shorter days in school so I'd be able to get off at 1pm or 2pm, or at least teachers had lighter content for the lessons, particularly the afternoon lessons. And we usually went swimming with my best friend after we had eaten and would spend the time in the pool until the plase closed down for the night. So we'd sauna & frolick in the water around 3-4 hours most Friday evenings!

2. What was the best weekend of your life?

The first thought that came to my mind: Back when I was a kid in school, I felt like the summers where one long weekend because Freedom! No school! I loved that feeling!

No single weekend stands out to me as being above the rest of them. There's been a lot of good ones, and nothing that special to earn the title best ever.

3. What weekend of the year is your favorite?

Don't have one.

4. Do you have any weekend routines?

I try to not do grocery shopping on weekends, and mostly I manage that. I do this because I don't work so days just tend blend and repeat for me, and this is a way to try and keep weekends as something a little different from weekdays.

5. Describe your ideal Saturday night.

Just me at home with a layer cake or a chocolate cake I love and probably made myself, tasty drinks, with either a very good, thought-provoking and entertaining movie with great writing, excellent performances and beautiful cinematography. Also a long runtime so I really sink my teeth into it. And then finish the night by reading a good book before sleeping.

In other news... I won a Roomba i3 robot vacuum cleaner after filling in the local energy company's website usability test questions back in 2021. I never win anything so I was ecstatic to have one the first price for once! And a happy coincidence too it was the first price was a robot vacuum cleaner! It's been a tremendous help the last 3,5 years for me in keeping my home clean :mrgreen: Being a spoonie due to several chronic illnesses it had been difficult the past several years but the Roomba solved that. About a year ago, I noticed the Roomba started to drop the network all the time (it can be controlled via a smart phone app and needs network for that to work) and other odd behaviour and a few weeks ago, it got really bad. I had looked into it some, and had come to the conclusion that the battery was going out. I wasn't sure whether a new battery was a good idea, and also it looked like I'd have to order it from abroad which was difficult because most shops I looked at didn't ship them to Finland. The iRobot website shop was of course out of the original battery for the model, so it'd have to be a replacement part. So I hesitated. But now that it was crapping out every time I tried to use it, I looked around for reviews and people were having good experiences replacing the battery.

So I looked around a lot more this past weekend, thinking come on, there has to be a Finnish robot vacuum cleaner shop or a spare parts shop or something that sell them. After a lot of duck duck going, I did find one! It arrived at my closest post office yesterday, I picked it up today and installed it immediately. And low and behold - the problems seem to be solved! It's dropped the network for a few seconds a few times but that allowable (unlike days which happened with the old battery) and probably normal, the Roomba started action immediately when I clicked so in the phone app, and did not get stuck or act weird during vacuuming today like the last times with the old battery! 😀 Fingers crossed I get a couple of more years out of the Roomba with this new battery! 🤞

Answers to today's questions at thefridayfive@Dreamwidth ✨

1. How far back can you trace your family tree?

Not far at all! I knew my adopted Mom's Mom but her Dad my Grandpa died 10 years before I was born. Grandma was a homemaker and moved from the country to the city as a young girl in 1930s, and my Grandpa's family originated from Russia but they were living in Finland by the time Finland declared its independence in 1917. I don't know in more detail than that or further back for either family's history.

I met my adopted Dad's Mom when I was a kid but I didn't know her - we didn't have much to do with her, not sure why. I... can't remember Dad's father? I'm not sure whether he was still alive when I was a kid or not. No memory whatsoever. I remember once when I was a teenager after Dad had died and Mom and I were out shopping, we ran into Dad's mother and I did not recognize her. I don't know really anything about my Dad's side other than that he had had to leave to a different city chasing work when he was a very young man, that he moved from city to city until he found a permanent job here and that he had one sister we saw regularly usually twice a year until Dad died. That was the only real contact we had with Dad's family.

I don't know anything about my bio family other than that I have several full siblings and several half-siblings. I'm unclear on the exact number. And that there are both headache and stomach problems in one or both sides of the family, so I'm not an outlier on that level!

2. What is the most interesting (or strange) thing you've heard about one of your relatives?

Nothing strange, but I've always thought it interesting the my adopted Mom's Dad (the one who died 10 years before I was born) was a traveling salesman, and he went to places such as China because of his work (this would've been the 1940s/1950s/1960s.) He was also involved in the local politics, the Social Democrats/Left side if I've understood correctly. I also love the two wall hangings depicting nature scenes he brought to Grandma from China - they are sewn/knitted/some-other-handicraft but they are so photo-realistic that I always thought they were photos! I was over 20 years old when we got to talking about them with my Mom and she told me that they aren't photos at all!

3. How do you feel about legacy names like John Henry Smith IV or naming children after other relatives?

I'm not sure legacy names are much of a thing here? At least I've never known one who has a legacy name (or at least doesn't use the whole thing in which case nobody might realize it's a legacy name) and I can't even think of a celebrity or a politician who has one. In either case, I don't really think much about it. Probably Finland doesn't have enough rich or noble families that are old enough and that also want to make use of such convention.

I'm kind of iffy about naming children after relatives - second/middle name is totally fine, but first name can by iffy... it depends on the relationship, whether the relative is still alive and if they're dead, the cause of the death. I mean if it's a grandparent or a relative you're not close to, it's totally fine. But if it's a sibling/cousin that died young I feel that's icky like the new baby would be replacement for the one lost young.

4. Would you consider yourself and/or your family to be traditional?

In some really major ways my adopted parents and me, we are not traditional. Since before I was born, we have not "belonged to the church" which is rare (but has been coming more and more common over the last decades), so I was the only one who didn't have to attend the religion classes at school. My Dad died of cancer when he was 50 and when I was 14 which is not common. When Mom found a new man, they never married and have been living together now for 30 years without ever getting married. Which is almost unheard of in their age group. Mom couldn't have children, so Mom and Dad adopted. Which is quite rare. My Mom's best friend never married, never had children and the whole time I've known her (50 years), never been seeing anyone either.

As for me, I myself never wanted children and never had them, never have been married or never lived together with a romantic partner. Both of which is not that common in my age group. I'm seriously ill with several chronic conditions that limit my ability to function, which isn't common in this extent. I've also never had a long term, permanent job but that seems pretty common in my age group for certain professions. And in general, more and more common for people younger than me regardless of profession.

So in many ways, we are not traditional at all.

5. What is one tradition you have passed on to your children and/or plan to pass on to them?

Like I said, never wanted children and never had them so this question is irrelevant.

Answers to today's questions at https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/136284.html

1. Did the house where you grew up have a newspaper delivered regularly?

Oh yes, Mom and Dad always had a newspaper subscription for as long as I can remember. It's actually one of my vivid childhood memories. It'd be dropped through the mail slot in our door at 4am every working day and Saturdays - I'd hear it a lot because I often had a migraine attack at that time and sat in the toilet throwing up/waiting to throw up and would hear the mail slot slamming and know it is now 4am and Dad would get up soon.

Back then, as a kid, it was Kansan Uutiset - a smaller newspaper with smaller circulation because is left leaning and I'm not sure I knew anyone else who subscribed it except for us. They all seemed to get Turun Sanomat. I'm pretty sure we also subscribed to the weekend issues (so only Satuday and Sunday) of Turun Sanomat which is one of the main newspapers here in Finland and also happens to be our home town one. After Dad died and Mom moved in with her current SO, at some point the left leaning newspaper stopped publishing every day and has been publishing only on the weekends for like 15 years or more now. So now they subscribe to every day Turun Sanomat and also to weekly Kansan Uutiset. Mom and SO still only subscribe to the paper newspapers - they don't like digital for themselves.

2. Have you ever subscribed to an actual print newspaper?

An actual paper print newspaper? No. I could never afford it, and the few times I had spare money I could use for a newspaper or a magazine - I rather subscribed to a Star Trek comics from the US for a year, or a computer magazine, or some other comic. I could only do that when I had longer temp job (6 months minimum), so the last time was in 2007 or 2008, and even then I could only afford one subscription so had to choose carefully. I didn't follow politics at all or even news that much before the 2008 elections (and what news I did follow, tv news were enough for me), so I didn't ever feel the need for a newspaper and rather subscribed to something fun when I could. And then of course all the newspapers etc. have been online for a long long time with partially free content, so it wasn't that necessary even when I did start following politics either. Oh, and the times I had a job, I didn't need to pay for newspapers - perks of working in a library! I could read the newspapers the library got if I wanted to.

3. When was the most recent time you physically picked up and read a newspaper?

I don't remember... Probably last Christmas when I was over at my Moms. I usually check out their print Turun Sanomat when I'm there. Very occasionally I also read a newspaper in a library. The most recent time I did that was in last July when I had to be away from home because of the noise of the bathroom renovations.

4. Do you pay for news online now?

I don't myself because I don't have the money to do that, but I've asked for a digital subscription to Turun Sanomat a handful of times for a birthday gift or some other gift since I started following politics and news after the 2008 elections. And the last few years, Mom and her SO have gifted me two months of the digital once a year because Turun Sanomat is doing some campaign like "buy a gift subscription for your loved one for this token price and extend your own subscription by two months!" or something.

I also sometimes subscribe to digital version of other newspapers myself when they make me a "get-to-know-our-newspaper-for-free" offer.

When it's a birthday gift, the subscription is usually for 6 months which is just about the perfect length of time because by the end of that time, I'm getting sort of tired of "having to" read the paper every day or falling behind. The free "get-to-know-our-newspaper" offers are usually 4 or 8 weeks.

5. Do you have any saved newspaper clippings?

I'm... not entirely sure. I used to have a lot of clippings featuring my favorite movies, actors and tv shows but I think I've gotten rid of them ages ago. I might have some left at the bottom of some box or drawer.... If I do have any left, it's more by accident than purpose.

Answers to today's questions at thefridayfive@DW!

1) Do you like your birth-name? Why?

Okay, so. I was adopted when I was 1 month old and this was the plan since months before. I don't think I had a recorded first name until my adoptive parents gave me one, but my original/birth-surname was "baby girl" + my biological family's surname in the documents. It's on okay surname, short and pretty common but not too common. My real name, both first and surname, were recorded when I was 5 months old when the final official papers were signed.

So, I consider my real birth-name the names my adoptive Mom and Dad gave me, and both the first name and the surname are fine in and of themselves. But they are both quite rare and if put on google as a term, I'm the only who pops up.

My first name is fine. I don't love, but it's fine.

It's is a name that can be written with either 1 "i" letter or two "i" letters (Pia, Piia but pronounced the same way) and that has always been a problem and still continues to this day! Everyone assumes my name is the version written with one "i" but my name actually written with two! In school, it was made more confusing that all through mandatory school (so 9 years), there was a girl in my class with my same name but hers was written with one "i" while mine was with 2. And to make it all even more confusing, there was an another girl whose name was "Mia" (can also be written either Mia or Miia but also pronounced the same) with one "i" and that further confused the each poor new teacher  when they would miss-hear her name starting with "P" or our names starting with "M" and would always try to guess wrong how many "i"s our names! Mom and Dad have always been perplexed by this one or two "i" problem - it never occurred to them there are people with one "i" because that's more like foreign version of the name and in the mid-70s there were practically no foreign born living in Finland except for a small Swedish descending population (that had lived in the country for like 100 years usually already or more). To them, the Finnish version was a given!

As for my surname, it's a long and rare one but I like it. It's cool. I always run out of space on the signing line whenever I have sign any paper because it's so long. And because it's rare, if you google it, everyone who comes up, is likely related to each other in some way even if we've never met each other.

2) If you could change your name to anything else, what would it be?

I could change it if I wanted to; it is possible under the law. I haven't, because I don't care enough and I could not choose a new name when I thought about it seriously in my mid-20s. No other name felt like me, really.

3) What names would you consider giving your children?

I've never wanted children, so I have never considered possible names for them.

4) If you had a band, what would you name it, and why?

Donno, don't care.

5) Is there a name that you completely hate? Why?

Hate is a really strong word, but I used to dislike the name Philip with one "l" a lot. Phillip with two "l"s was okay though!

A little late replies to last friday's thefridayfive questions!

1. Ten years ago, what did you think you would be doing now?

2014 was a particularly bad year health wise and I was too ill to have any idea of how/what I'd be doing in a year, never mind a decade. So I was sort of just vaguely hoping I'd be better off health wise, but not even entirely sure what I could hope for re: Crohn's Disease and the chronic migraine.

2. Where do you think you will be five years from now?

Pretty much the same as now most likely. Can't see it, it's all a mist like it's been since 2008 when I first got ill. I can't see even a year from now yet, never mind 5 years... maybe I can just vaguely sense in the vaguest of sense the shape of things for the next 6 months (but even that is pushing it) with extremely-vague-maybe-kinda-there notions of one or two maybes that might be happening by then... maybe. The future is all unknown haze, a mist. The only thing I'm sure of that financially the next few years can get even worse for me, all because of the current far-right government which still has 2 years left until the next election.

3. Do you live life one day at a time or look to the future?

Sort of both? I don't have much of anything truly fun & positive to look for in the future and don't have the money to do anything out of the normal - or energy for that matter - so I live one day at a time mostly. But at the same time I have to keep track of things like doctor's appointments, blood labs every couple of months, unemployment agency requirements, KELA bureaucracy, and make appointments, fill in and send paper work every month for all those things or at least every few months etc. There are always dates by which I must accomplish various things or my situation (usually financial, but often medical too) either might, or will, get worse, depending on what the thing is, if I don't do it in time.

4. Do you wish you could go back in time and undo something in your life?

Sure. I'd like to go back in time and not get my illnesses! I'm not sure I could do anything Crohn's Disease, probably not - but I could try to avoid having the migraine go chronic by getting proper care for it in time! And if I go even further back in time, to my early 20s, I could stay in the Helsinki area and probably get a library job there, in hind sight at least it would've been much more likely there than here in Turku because Helsinki always has a lot more jobs available. So I'd have had a better change of getting job(s) there! On the other hand, I'm not sure if I could afford to live in the Helsinki area with a librarian salary and living alone. Cost of living is a lot higher there.

5. If you could send a message back in time and give a younger version of yourself some advice, what would it be?

To stay in the Helsinki area at least for some years to try and get employment there.