personal

Answers to today's questions over at f.riday5.com

In sociology, the third place refers to the social surroundings separate from the two usual social environments of home (the first place) and the workplace (the second place). Examples of third places include churches, cafes, bars, clubs, libraries, gyms, bookstores, hackerspaces, stoops, parks, and theaters.

Interesting question! I didn't know this term.

My first place is home and second place is my Mom's home because that's the other place I spend time at with any regularity that has meaning. I spend about 90% of my time at home. Because of my chronic pain, symptoms of the various illnesses and lack of energy, I'm not able to do much or for long periods (hours) at a time. My life has become very limited since getting ill in 2008.

1. What is your usual third place these days?

There are long stretches of time that I don't actually have a third place. When I do, the last 7-8 years it has been something to do with some kind of rehabilitation activity or rehabilitation exploration possibilities.

The providers vary, but it's always my GP who writes the doctors recommendations that opens those doors to me, and often TE-toimisto (the unemployment office) also uses their connections (link officers to KELA or a written statement) to help open those doors, depending on what I'm applying for. Sometimes it's been kuntouttava työtoiminta (rehabilitation activity) where my goal has been mostly to try out "working" - not a job, but an activity outside home for 4-5 hours (6-8 hours with commute which in my case a few providers say must be accounted in) and for 1-2 days a week in my case. With very light tasks to do there or even just things like painting or making bracelets for kids using wooden and plastic pearls. So nothing like real work. In my case, it's been to test how my health in general and migraine in particular handles it when there's a day that's more than just being home, doing things at my own pace. Emotionally and mentally it's always been nice and refreshing but physically exhausting and migraine inducing every day I've been there.

The other thing it's been are various types of rehabilitation explorations - these are multi-discipline (doctor, nurse, psychologist, physiotherapist, social worker and sometimes more) courses, where my health situation is assessed along with my entire life situation, possible future avenues charted and recommendations made. These are either group format, or partially group format and so offer also peer support, even though people usually have different health challenges but we're more or less in very similar situations. Usually/often the thought is towards back work life, but in my case it's always ended up that not being possible at this time, and being more rehabilitation and more doctor's appointments to find out can anything further be done for my chronic migraine and just basicly trying to slowly add more resilience to my health, particularly the migraine by kuntouttava työtoiminta and other ways.

All this because the bureaucracy can't admit that I'm 1) factually unable to work to support myself despite doctor's statements and 2) no sane employer will hire a person who has not been able to have a job for 16 years due to many illnesses because if they do hire me and I end up finally getting disability retirement (the likelihood of which is great because having job finally would prove what everyone already knows to the bureaucracy) because they will end up footing the the bill for the said disability retirement - but no new worker.

2. How are your third place needs different today from some other time in your life?

I don't really have third place needs at this time. And I don't really remember having them before either! Unless you count my Mom's Beagle back when she (the dog) was alive - I definitely had to play with the Beagle every week back then!

3. What’s missing from your third places these days?

Ability to regularly enough to spend time in one to have a third place in the first place!

4. What kind of third places do you see yourself never frequenting?

Bars, night clubs, beaches. Just in general places where there are lots of people and a lot of noise, or that are hot and sunny.

5. Which third place in a television series would you most enjoy?

I think maybe Ten Forward on Star Trek TNG. There's always a nice view out and on the show it's never too crowded or noisy.

By spiffikins  at https://spiffikins.dreamwidth.org/1251745.html

1. How Often Does Your Family Eat Together?

I live alone so I normally eat alone.

I visit my Mom a couple of times a year where we plan it so that I eat with them.

2. Is ‘Be Yourself’ Bad Advice?

It really really depends on the circumstances!

3. What’s Your Comfort Food?

Chocolate. But my real comfort "food" is actually a beverage: Frezza Coco Loco.

4. How Good a Friend Are You?

I'm very good in some aspects (such as (vounteering to) helping whenever I'm asked to help with something) but really bad in others (such as keeping in touch if we don't see each other every week).

5. Do You Think You’ve Forged Your Lifelong Taste in Music?

It looks like it! I still love all the songs I loved when I was a kid, I've just added new ones to the list!

6. How Well Do You Take Criticism?

Pretty well! It might sting for a bit, but I like learning and improving and I like trying to put the criticism into practice.

7. What City or Town Most Captures Your Imagination?

London and/or Paris. Venice.

8. Is It Possible to Start Out Poor in Your Country, Work Hard and Become Well-Off?

Yes, but not without good luck. Just working hard isn't enough.

9. What Food Would You Like to Judge in a Taste-Off?

I have no desire to participate in any kind of Taste-Off. Because that means being the center of attention, maybe in television. And I hate that idea.

10. Has Anyone Ever Said That You Look Like Someone Famous? Do You Resemble Your Parents?

Nope. I dunno. I've never seen my bio parents. I don't resemble my adopted parents.

There was one time when I was 17 or 18. My Mom and I were on a package holiday in Opatija in then-Yugoslavia (just 6 months before the war started in the country), and the woman of a certain 30-something couple kept staring at me the whole week whenever we were on the same day trip. The last day or was it the second to last day, she apologized for staring and told me that they are from northern Finland and that I looked exactly like someone she knows. As far as I knew then (and now), my bio family is from western and southern Finland, not up north, but apparently I have a doppelgänger somewhere!

11. What Are Some Recent Moments of Happiness in Your Life?

I have no recent moments of happiness, but also no recent moments of sadness. I rarely feel happy, or sad, and I sometimes wonder if it's because according to a bunch of questionnaires I am mildly depressed. But my emotional life has always been quite steady - no big highs, or lows.

I do enjoy things such as seeing my Mom, or reading an intriquing book.

12. Do You Pay Attention to Nutrition Labels on Food?

Not as much as I should. I have problems with appetite so I tend to go with the thought that it's better to eat this unhealthy thing because the alternative is not eating at all.

13. Are You a Saver or a Tosser?

Somewhere between? Maybe slightly more of a saver, I have to be a little bit on the lookout for that!

14. Does What You Wear Say Anything About You as a Person?

That I like loose and comfortable clothing.

15. What Are You Good At?

Baking and computer stuff.

16. How Closely Do You Listen to Lyrics?

Very closely. I often hunt down the lyrics to songs, and if I can't find them, I transcribe them myself.

17. Do You Root For Any Sports Teams?

I don't follow sports. So no.

18. What Era Do You Wish You Had Lived In?

I used to wish I'd lived in medieval times and Wild West and Victorian England. Then I got chronically ill, and I'm grateful I don't - I'd probably had died of weakness caused by chronic diarrhea and bowel problems within the year. Then later on I realized that needing eye glasses, I'd have been functionally blind at least in middle ages as well! And probably horribly poor in all the historical ages if I was born into similar family as I was actually was (working class).

So I'd like to live in the future where at least, of my illnesses, migraine and Crohn's Disease are cured.

19. How Do You Cope With Grief?

When my Dad died, I went to the movies 2-3 times a week for 2-3 months immediately after.

When I got ill, and then realized the illnesses were chronic and would never go away, I wrote. I basically vomited all my thoughts in mix of fiction and fact, in mix Finnish and English in pretty notebooks. Just filled several notebooks with them over several months maybe a year or two, and if helped so much. I never re-read them. Then a couple of years later when I was more stable, I destroyed all of them by burning them and it was like I was freed.

20. What Are You Listening To?

As I write this: a standing fan, the washing machine doing a spin cycle.

21. How Impulsive Are You?

Almost not at all. Only in very minor things, such as suddenly deciding to bake something easy and quick.

22. What Was Your Favourite Fairy Tale or Nursery Rhyme?

I don't remember.

23. What Is Your Fantasy Vacation?

London.

24. How Much Do You Curse?

Not much. Only when I'm mad and that happens rarely since I've been living alone for 30+ years.

25. What Buildings Do You Love? What Buildings Do You Hate?

I love castles and palaces. I don't hate any but I deeply dislike Brutalist architecture in general and concrete box buildings in particular that are built today at least here in Finland, whether they are apartment buildings or concert halls. They always look like each other and ugly and boring boring boring.

26. Given Unlimited Resources, What Scientific or Medical Problem Would You Investigate?

Migraine.

27. Have You Ever Felt Pressured to Betray Your Beliefs?

Nope.

28. What Famous Landmarks Have You Visited?

Turku Castle. London Tower. Hampton Court. Korkeasaari. Have I visited others??

29. What Are Your Healthy Habits?

I don't smoke and I don't drink.

30. Tell Me Three Good Things That Happened This Week

I can only think of one good thing that happened this week (the rest are neutral):

The phone call with unemployment office was cancelled. It is good because the idiotic, bureautic jumping-through-stupid-hoops requirements that literally benefit no job seeker actively hinders employers, never mind are total waste of time for one who is unable to work, got pushed forward at least by a month or two.

By spiffikins  at https://spiffikins.dreamwidth.org/1251745.html … All caught up, here’s August questions!

1. What Do You Gain From Pursuing Something You Do Really, Really Badly?

I sing very, very badly (I sound like a cat being tortured!) but I it's pure fun! I never sing where anyone can here me, though.

2. What Would You Be Willing to Wait in a Really Long Line For?

I can't think of anything...

3. Do You Wish You Could Return to Moments From Your Past?

Not moments, no. But I'd love to be as carefree as I was when I was in school. Didn't have to worry about anything but doing my home work.

4. What Pranks, Jokes, Hoaxes or Tricks Have You Ever Fallen For or Perpetrated?

Never done any of those, and can't remember falling for one either. They've never been something my family or friends have been into.

5. What Are Your Personal Superstitions?

That if I stop using Period Tracker or it is discontinued, my periods will immediately go completely and totally haywire.

6. Do You Spend Enough Time With Other People?

No.

7. How Well Do You Know Your Neighbors?

Only to say "hi" and I only know in which apartments about 3 of them live.

8. How Much Time Do You Spend in Nature?

None, if nature means going into forest or something. If it means my Mom's garden or similar, little.

9. What Are Your Favorite TV Shows?

I'm fannish about: Star Trek TOS, TNG, DS9. Space: Above And Beyond, Dark Skies, Xena: Warrior Princess, Game of Thrones and others.

Are favorites, rewatched many times but I'm not fannish about: Keeping Up Appearances, Allo Allo, The Fall, Prime Suspect, Agatha Christie's Poirot (the David Suchet one), The X Files, Vera Stanhope, Midsummer Murders, a lot of other British detective shows

10. When Have You Ever Succeeded When You Thought You Might Fail?

I guess maybe the driving test? I was successful in my second try, but somehow I never really thought I would be. I'm not sure why.

11. How Productive and Organized Are You?

I'm pretty organized because I have to be! My memory has gotten worse due to daily pain, medical and financial stress so I have lists and reminders and alarms to do the necessary things that have repercussions if I don't do them as planned. From taking my meds to making it to appointments in time to vacuuming regularly.

Most days I'm not very productive. But in the last 1,5 years or so I've noticed that these days I often have a burst of energy after a migraine attack ends. So I love that (it's the only time I feel energetic) and have learned to use it for productive thing tha are hard and exhausting to do otherwise such as vacuuming and other cleaning. The trick is to balance it just right that I don't accidently trigger a new migraine attack by doing too much!

12. How Do You Deal With Boredom?

I'm almost never bored. I think maybe by putting music on, or playing with watercolors or even cleaning windows.

13. Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?

I don't care. I have no opinions on this. They should do what they want about it.

14. What Assumptions Do People Make About You?

That because I look healthy, I am healthy. That I'm extrovert.

15. Can Money Buy You Happiness?

Yes. Only people have never had to worry about paying the rent, paying bills and buying food, can say it doesn't.

16. What’s Your Favorite Candy?

I'm not sure. Feels like none of the candy taste quite the same as it used to. I'm not sure if it's entirely me (it could be - even water started to taste different after my 2014 stint in the hospital) but there's also been a lot of talk that product recipes have been changed in the last decade or two to use cheaper ingredients, or "healthier" ingredients. Whatever, the end result is that I don't have an absolute favorite candy anymore. Just a bunch I more than others.

17. How Do You React When Provoked?

It really, really depends on what and how and by whom I'm being provoked about! My reactions ranges from complete indifference to what an idiot to how embarrasing to (rarely) anger. It's usually a total stranger who is trying to provoke my and I'm usually completely indifferent about what a total stranger thinks I should do/be.

18. What is Your Favorite Place in Your House?

My couch, I guess.

19. What’s the Best Way to Heal a Broken Heart?

Donno.

20. Are You a Hoarder or a Minimalist?

I'm somewhere in the middle, pretty normal. I do have hoarder tendencies in some respects - as an example, I'd love to own physical books of all the books I've loved. But this would be thousands and thousands of books and I have no space for them. I'm so grateful for libraries. And I tend to accumulate pretty notebooks too much!

21. What Would You Outsource if You Could?

Cleaning and meal making! I've always dreamed of being able to hire a cleaner to come in 1-2 a week, and a cook to make me home made meals 2-4 times a week.

Also, job hunting.

22. What Fantasy Invention Would You Want to Exist in Reality?

The replicators from Star Trek! So I wouldn't have to cook myself unless I actually wanted to and still have good food to eat!

Also transporters! But mostly replicators!

23. What Old, Worn Out Thing Can You Just Not Part With?

I don't think have such a thing now anymore! Not a worn out one. A few months ago, I finally had to recycle the ancient favorite long nightgown of mine when it gained big holes under both arms and the fabric was too thin there to repair the holes or even to cut the arms off completely.

24. Do You Want to Live to 100?

Part of me does, but then more realistic part pipes that with my luck, I'll probably get dementia, and having Crohn's Disease and chronic diarrhea, and the country's crashing health care, I'd only suffer in shitty diapers because I wouldn't remember/know to take the the meds that keep the diarrhea at bay (it's taken only as needed which means some days not at all, some days once and some days many times) and the nurse(s) would be around only for a few minutes a few times a day to change the diaper, give regular meds and feed me. It's a dismal vision so I hope to go before I get to that point.

25. How Good Is Your Sense of Direction?

I had to google this! Turns out I have a pretty good sense of direction. I can read maps without problems, indentify where I am on the map and figure which way to go to get to my destination. Inside shops I may get confused if it's new-to-me shop and I'm not familiar with the layout or in known-to-me shops the entire shop just has been rearranged but I still have at least a vague sort of idea which way an exit should be.

I don't know about stars and moons and such because I've needed to travel by them.

26. Do You Write in Cursive?

I did learn it in school and it was mandatory to write in cursive until it was routine (so several years), but then later we were taught also printing by hand. And I switched to printing, and have been writing that way since.

27. What Are Your Earliest Memories of Music?

I don't have really early memories. Earliest is my Duran Duran craze, and I was probably 7-8 years old by then.

28. What Would You Grab in a Fire?

My meds, my backpack and my laptop.

29. Do You Have Any Tattoos? If Not, Would You Ever Consider Getting a Tattoo?

Nope, and I have. But I think I'd get fed-up or just bored with a tattoo after some years and would want to change it up and that's no doable so nope.

30. Does Buying and Accumulating More and More Stuff Make Us Happier?

After a certain point, nope.

31. When Do You Become an Adult?

Dunno. I'm going to be 50 in little over 2 months and I don't feel like one!

By spiffikins  at https://spiffikins.dreamwidth.org/1251745.html … Catching up, here’s July questions!

1. How Easy — or Hard — Is It for You to Say No When You Want To?

In some things is a lot easier now than before - as an example, when I was younger, I never could say no to random sales people and door bell ringers :/ Now I have no problems saying no, whether it on the phone or in person.

On the other hand, I'm curious if I'd be able to say no to my boss/senior coworker now. I wasn't when I was younger and because I was always the temp worker and if you said no, you weren't asked back or at least I feared that. But I haven't been able to work in 16 years and I've changed a lot in that time, so I genuinely curious if I would say no when asked to do take on too much work to accomplish it all or something.

2. How Good Are You at Time Management?

Pretty good. But I have to make lists these days and create alarms/reminders for tasks and appointments, or I forget them. My memory isn't what it used to be.

3. Have You Ever Been in Love?

I've had crushes, but I don't think I've ever been in actual love.

4. What Nicknames Have You Ever Gotten or Given?

Some of the girls in grade school gave a nickname made from my surname. I can't say it here because I use it in same places to login. The only nicknames I've given were to our Beagle Caro, and they were always situational.

5. Do You Have Siblings? How Well Do/Did You Get Along With Them?

Technically, yes. I was adopted as a baby, but I have biological siblings. I've never met them, and only spoken in phone with one of them once.

6. Do You See Great Disparities of Wealth in Your Community?

Yes.

7. What Are Your Best Sleepover Memories?

We did do sleep-overs but nothing really stands out. I just remember us having a fun time.

8. What Childhood Rules Did You Break?

Don't steal apples from trees. Don't bike too far aways. Don't bike/cross the high traffic road that was too far away. Don't buy and eat chocolate (I was allergic so I wasn't supposed to).

9. What Is Your Racial and Ethnic Identity?

I'm about as pale a Finnish as can be, so I guess Caucasian?? We don't think in these terms.

10. What Have You Made Yourself?

Many things! I love making little notebooks with Tomoe River or Cosmo Air Light paper! That's one of my favorite things to make!

I also love making celebrity, tv show and movies wallpapers in Photoshop.

11. Have You Ever Experienced Food Insecurity?

Yes.

12. Do/Did You Collect Anything?

Pretty notebooks. Digital photos of my favorite celebrities, tv shows and movies.

13. Who in Your Life Introduces You to New Music?

Nobody. I find new music mostly through tv shows and movies. Some via posts on Dreamwidth.

14. Are You a Saver or a Spender?

I don't have the money to be either.

15. How Careful Are You in the Sun?

I hate the sun (too bright) and heat, so I avoid being outdoors in the summer as much as I can. But I think this question is about getting skin cancer. I'm a little bit careful because of that, not as careful as I could be but considering I don't willingly spend any time at all in the sun, and if I can't avoid it, then in the shade, I'm not much at risk of skin cancer. I'm always white as a sheet or as we say in Finland: valkoinen kuin kalkkilaivan kapteeni (white like the captain of a limestone ship) because I'm not outdoors to get even a ghost of tan going.

16. What Local ‘Microadventures’ Would You Like to Go On?

A couple of years ago, the local busses started to go to Kuhankuono which is in Kurjenrahka National Park. I'd love to go there, but I'm not sure if it's too much for me because I get tired too quickly and I'm in poor physical health and can't walk very far, and also because there's too big a chance I'd urgently need a toilet (Crohn's Disease) and one won't be close by. But one day I'd like to make a trip there, it'd probably be a full day trip for me even if I don't try to do any of the shortest hiking trails.

17. Would You Consider Moving Overseas for a Job?

Not with my current chronic illnesses. I'm not sure I'd have considered it even back when I was healthy. I don't think I'm adventurous enough and making new friends has always been hard for me and moving abroad I'd lose the few friends I have.

18. Do You Ever Feel Overlooked and Underappreciated?

More like I shouldn't exist. The current far right government makes me feel like that.

19. What Were Your Favorite Picture Books When You Were Little?

I don't remember.

20. How Much Information Is ‘Too Much Information’?

Depends on the topic or the person its about and my relationship with them.

21. Would You Most Want to Live in a City, a Suburb or the Country?

I'm content where I am, in a suburb. I like the thought of living in the country far away from the nearest neighbor... until I realize that having a house in the country also means doing all the maintenance, snow plowing etc. my bloody self and the thought dies a quick death.

22. What Life Lessons Has Adversity Taught You?

That too much adversity paralyzes you and saps your strength away from you. That you don't dare to move in any direction because experience has taught you that nothing good comes from change and the best you can hope is that things stay as they are. And if on top of that, there is a far right government in power, there is no hope for me.

23. Have You Ever Been Scammed?

Nope.

24. Can Creativity Be Scheduled?

To a certain extent, yes. But it depends a lot on your health - back when I was healthy, I could schedule creative work, but now it often doesn't work because I likely to be in too much pain or too tired to even think, much less create.

25. What’s Your Favorite Sandwich?

I love the paahtopaistipatonki (filled baguette?) my closest grocery makes. It's a whole grain baguette filled with thin roast beef slices (deli style?), tomato slices, lettuce, sometimes cucumber slices and one or two kinds of sandwhich dressing instead of butter. It's delicious and fulfilling.

26. What Would Your Personal Mascot Be?

Donno. Don't care.

27. How Did Your Parents Teach You to Behave?

Nice, kind, attentive and considerate and to obey authorities. So way all the girls are thought to ignore their own needs and wellbeing, and all Finns are taught to obey authorities such as employers and bureautics such as KELA, TE-toimisto etc.

28. Are You a Perfectionist?

I am a little bit, in some things.

29. Should People Give Money to Panhandlers?

In Finland, nope.

30. What Would You Put in Your Emergency ‘Go-Bag’?

My meds would maybe the most important thing, but because some of them have such a short shelf-life, I can't keep in it. So I'd have to put them in when I'm leaving. I suppose also water, change of clothes. Don't really know, there's no reason to have a emergency go-bag in Finland.

31. How Much Do You Know About History?

Quite a lot. The school taught world history back when I went to school. While I hated school, history was one the few subjects I was actually actively interested in so I paid attention and remember a lot. I've also read more about Ancient Egypt and a some other points of history as an adult. And history documentaries are my favorite genre of documentaries and I watch them a lot when YLE shows them.

By spiffikins  at https://spiffikins.dreamwidth.org/1251745.html … Hah! Seriously late this time, here's June questions!

1. When Was the Last Time You Did Something That Scared or Challenged You?

In April and May (the AKSE course I wrote about earlier).

2. Do You Ever Talk About Issues of Race and Class With Your Friends?

In general terms, usually in relation to how we are voting in elections, or some breaking news or some ongoing noisy online hatred and racist vomit by Perussuomalaiset.

3. Is College Overrated?

In theory, no. More knowledge is always a good thing.

But Finland has gone too far in requiring that everyone has some university diploma or many years of theory learning even when people are training to work in jobs that need other skills and training such as cleaning or plumbing or whatever where practical training is very important. Every job seems to require years of schooling now, leaving people who aren't literary minded without a place in the job world. While at the same time amount of general education about various societal things people have seems to have lessened - I often find myself wondering "aren't they teaching this in school anymore??" when listening to people talk about political and societal things.

4. Do You Set Rules for Yourself About How You Use Your Time?

I try to, but I'm not very good at following them.

5. Can You Be Good Without God?

I think the more pertinent question is - if you can't be good without outside fictional pressure, are you actually good?

6. How Are You and Your Parents Alike and Different?

We're alike in our political views and we like to spend our time much the same ways. But I'm more cynical because of unemployment/temp jobs, poverty and then also chronic illness I've been living with my almost entire adult life.

7. What Did You Once Hate but Now Like?

Blue cheese!

8. If You Were a Super Rich Philanthropist, What Causes Would You Support?

The foundations that work to advocate for the unemployed, Migraine Disease foundation and Crohn's Disease foundation. Those three are a given. But also probably others as well if money is not an issue for me.

9. At What Age Should Children Be Allowed to Go Places Without Adult Supervision? What Age Were You When You Were Going Places By Yourself?

It depends on the child's maturity and when they themselves feel ready to try it out. I can't remember exactly, but I know my Mom only walked me to school the first two days of first class (so I woul've been 6 then). Then I wanted to go alone. That's normal here. 6 year olds travel by bus to school and hobbies and to friends and that's normal.

Oh, and it also depends on where the family lives - we lived in a city, with walkways, traffic lights and zebra crossings everywhere and it was never far to anywhere by walking or biking so it was safe. But people who live "in the country" often have none of those things, and even biking might mean travel time of 30 minutes or an hour on heavy traffic, high speeds roads so then of course it isn't necessarily safe for young children to go places alone. So it really depends a lot on the kid in question and the situation!

10. Does Your Life Leave You Enough Time to Relax?

Technically, yes, I have all the time I could ask for. Whether I have the means (money) and if I'm pain-free or in low enough pain to truly relax is an entirely another matter on the other hand...

11. Did You Take a Gap Year After High School?

Yes, but it was unplanned for. And not after high school:

I quit high school after 3 months because I hated it because it was exactly like grade school and I couldn't bear the thought of 3 more years of that and then another 3-6 years of university. So I quit after 3 months and registered as a job seeker in the unemployment office. Then I applied for vocational school a few months later, but until that started, I was on a break for about 8 months. So not a full year. And I didn't get to just lazy about. My Dad had just died about 1,5 years earlier, and Mom was working full time, so during the week I did all the grocery shopping and always had dinner started by the time she got home around 4.30pm. I'd always baked a lot but now even more than I usually did, a lot more bread rolls. I didn't mind any of that at all - I actually liked it all and I thought it was fair because I was the one without obligations during the days and had nothing but free time. I still had time to see my friends as much as I wanted. I'd have participated in all of the domestic stuff anyway had I been in school, just less than I did now because I'd have had home work if I were in school. Later I realized that that 8 months taught me a lot about meal planning, food prepping and cooking things that everything would be ready to eat at the same time, planning of grocery lists etc. So it wasn't a huge change when I moved to live on my own; I already knew how to do basic things like cook or clean or washing clothes better than I otherwise probably would have.

12. Do You Need to De-Clutter Your Life?

Not really, not anymore. I could put some things faster back in their place, but nothing is seriously cluttered now like it used to be when I was in my 20s. Everything going digital has helped a lot - used to be I had a lot of papers I couldn't throw out until X number of years had passed, and only a limited space to store them in that were already full so I'd just stack them on whatever surface. Lack of storage space was a big problem. Curse of a small apartment. But then everything went digital over the years and that's helped enormously.

13. Would You Rather Work From Home or in an Office?

Ideally, from an office, I think, as long as I live in a small apartment. I don't like the idea that my small home, with no office, would also be my working space. I don't have enough space to allocate any of it to my employer's usage. And doing so, would blur the lines between work and free time for me, I think. I'd feel I'm at work at least a little all of the time. But if I had a separate office room, I think I'd like to work from home, although I might be one of those people who are more productive when they go in the office.

On the other hand, if I ever get well enough to work anymore, working from home might be the most doable thing - I'm in so much pain and exhausted everyday that working from home might be the best/only way to return to workforce in longer term capacity, whether that's part time or full time.

But this is a moot point as long as I'm unable for the foreseeable future.

14. Do You Have a Dream Car?

Nope. Car's a purely a device to deliver me from place A to place B. I like Toyotas - they feel like they fit me better, like they're more designed for shortish people than other brands I've driven. So were I ever to buy or rent a car, it would very likely be a Toyota.

15. What’s the Story Behind Your Name?

No story behind. It's just a name my parents liked.

16. What’s the Best Party You’ve Ever Been To?

None. I'm not a party person, I don't like any of them and avoid them like the plague. The ones I have enjoyed the best have had too few people present to call it a party.

17. What Are Your Favorite Board Games?

I don't like any games so no favorite.

18. Are You an Introvert or an Extrovert?

I'm somewhere in the middle, quite leaning towards introversion.

19. Where Do You Want to Travel?

Nowhere really, seriously speaking. But before getting chronically ill, I wanted to see the pyramids and the Grand Canyon. But now with my chronic illnesses, the thought of travel is just stress-inducing and also a little bit fear-inducing. And my financial situation doesn't allow travel anyway.

20. What Are You Looking Forward to This Summer?

Ice cream, strawberries, new potatoes. But the most amount - for summer to be over because of the garish sun and heat.

21. What’s Your Favorite Summer Food?

Strawberries. New potatoes.

22. Did You Ever Have a Summer Job?

Yes, several times. During and after graduating library school, I temped a lot during summers.

23. What Are the Best Souvenirs You’ve Ever Collected While Traveling?

When we visited Stonehenge, I bought this little Stonehenge sculpture from the gift shop there. I still have it. This is from the first trip to London.

I'm also really fond of the silver leather/faux leather bookmark I bought from the London aquarium which features a dolphin carved on the leather. This is from the second trip to London.

24. What Are Your Favorite Names?

I don't really have favorite names. Like had I ever had or wanted children, I don't have a clue what I would have named them. I like some names though, but I woudn't call them favorites. Evangeline is one.

25. Do People Complain Too Much?

Currently I'd say nope. Because the monster far right goverment isn't hearing us, we need to complain more and louder.

26. What Were Your Favorite Childhood Shows and Characters?

Star Trek (TOS and TNG), Miami Vice, Knight Rider, V, V: The Final Battle, Hollywood Beat, Spenser for Hire, Hight Mountain Rangers, Dempsey & Makepeace, Crossbow/William Tell, Maelstrom, The Far Pavilions, The Jewel in the Crown, Thornbirds, a lot of tv mini series based on books by Judith Krantz and other writers. I LOVED a lot of tv miniseries taking place during WWII such as The Winds of War, War And Remembrance and many others.

Spock. Christine Chapel. Hawk. Sonny Crockett. Castillo. Ham Tyler. Diana. Horst. Remick.

27. What Role Does Stress Play in Your Life?

Financial stress is on all the time. Medical stress is on basically all the time too, but sometimes just barely there and sometimes very much front and center depending on how my chronic illnesses are going.

28. What Are Your Favorite Junk Foods?

I don't really go for traditional junk food such as hamburgers or whatever. I really like things like Karelian pies or pasties with rice & boiled egg filling; I don't personally count them as junk food but I think they are categorized as such by nutritional professionals.

EDIT: I googled it and google show pics of also things like donuts, potato chips, candy, soda etc. I've always thought of junk food as hot foods! And not sweet things. So if that's right - I LOVE a lot of junk foods! Not donuts, but lots of other sweet bakes, potato chips (not as much as I used to), chocolate, candy, ice cream, sodas etc.

29. Do You Have Childhood Memories of Being Read Aloud To?

Oh boy do I! Mom and Dad read aloud to me a lot, and I remember begging them to read to me even more. One of the evening routines when I was a kid and before I could read myself, was that either Mom or Dad read to me when I was already in bed - a bedtime story although what I remember are of them reading chapters of novels like Enid Blyton's The Five or Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew and not bed time stories that were finished in one sitting. Them not having time (or the will, honestly, because I would've happily be read to for hours and hours at a time! LOL) to read to as much as I would have preferred was how they motivated me to work on learning to read because then I could read more myself and at my own space! End result was I learned to read faster than most other kids on my class because I was so motivated to learn.

30. Are You Now, or Have You Ever Been, a Picky Eater?

Yes, I have and Yes, I still am. But I'm not nearly as bad now as I used to be.

Answers to today's questions over at thefridayfive @ Dreamwidth!

1. If you are old enough, are you registered to vote?

No need to register. In Finland, "those who have reached the age of 18 no later than the day of the election have the right to vote in Finland. Every Finnish citizen of voting age has the right to vote in national elections and referenda, regardless of their place of residence."

2. Did you vote in the November 2023 2024 Presidential election (that was the latest election)?

Yes.

I also voted in the 2023 parliamentary/general election.

3. Do you vote in primaries?

We don't have primaries.

4. Do you plan to vote in the November 2024 2025 Municipal election and Wellbeing Services County election (held at the same time)?

Yes.

5. Do you vote early, by mail, in person, or some other way?

It's always in person. Mail or online voting isn't possible.

The common ways are advance voting and voting on the actual election day.

I always vote during the advance voting because it's much easier. You can vote in any of the maybe 100 or so advance voting places anywhere in the country during the assigned 7 days as long as you have a legit ID with you. Advance voting places are places such as libraries, shopping centers, grocery stores etc. so you can easily pop in while returning your loaned books or doing the weekly shopping or just passing by on your way to/from work. And they're open like 9am to 8pm most days. My grocery store used to have the advance voting place for a few years, but not anymore so I vote in my library.

If you vote on the actual voting day, you are only allowed to vote in the one specific voting place assigned to you and this can be hard to reach if you don't have a car or may have to take 2-3 busses to get there even though it's maybe only 10 minutes by car from where you live but in the wrong direction as in my case and no bus goes that way directly. And if you live in the country, you allowed voting place may be an hour or more away. And on actual voting day it isn't enough to only have your ID with you, but ideally you'd also have the Notice of Right to Vote (which lists advance voting places, and your assigned voting place on the actual day as well as which municipal's (your residence) candidates you can vote for).

The last election we had, the Presidential election at the start of the year, my Mom said that on the actual voting day, the officials mark you off a paper(!!) list, while on the advance voting it's all computers. I couldn't believe it when she said that! I've voted only in advance for at least 15 years if not more, and it's always been computers there that it never occurred to me they do things the very old fashioned way on the actual day! But my Mom and her SO sometimes vote in advance and sometimes on the actual day, so Mom knows the differences and this time I was watching the news showing a video clip about the voting slips being handled differently on the actual day than mine was on the advance voting (on advance voting, each voting slip is sealed in an envelope, which is stamped and then dropped in the box - on the actual day, the slip is stamped and dropped in the box directly as-is) and we got to talking about the differences.

Advance voting is quite popular because you can do it whenever and wherever, and it seems to be getting even more popular.

There is also a way to vote abroad, but that too happens in person and then the voting slips are sent to Finland to be counted with the all the rest of the slips on the actual day. Also, if you're unable to go to advance vote or on the actual voting day because you're disabled or old and have mobility issues, voting officials can come to your home and you vote there (this needs to be arranged a few weeks before hand, so if you get sick suddenly the day before actual voting day, you may have to forego voting that time). I think places like old people homes also have voting official visiting to arrange voting so those that still can and are able to, can vote as well.

Answers to today's questions thefridayfive@Dreamwidth

1. Are you and your birth family close?

I was adopted when I was 1 month old, and I've never met my birth family. I've only talked a little with one of my half-sisters when she informed me that my bio-dad had died and I was one of his heirs, which shouldn't be happened because the adoption was supposed to cut all legal and otherwise ties to my bio family, but the law had changed a few years after the adoption and we didn't know until 2022 when she informed me about his death. (If you want to know more, I've posted about this before. It's still unsolved.)

So the answers to these questions are about my adoption family.

I'm very close to my Mom, was close to Mamma (Mom's mom ) while she was alive, and growing up I was pretty close to my girl cousin in the sense that we only saw each other maybe 3-4 times a year but it was like no time had passed at all and we always got fun and games going immediately.

Now I'm only close to my Mom, I've (we've) pretty much lost touch with anyone else over time.

2. How far away do you live from your various family members?

From my Mom - about 6 minutes by car, 30 minutes by walking, 15 minutes by bike and 60 minutes by bus.

I don't even know where precisely anyone else my age lives at the moment other than that it's around this same town as ever. We e-mail/WhatsApp occasionally though. I don't have personal contact with my younger relatives since they've moved out on their own; I know many of them have moved a lot because of work and university.

3. When was the last time you visited with relatives?

My Mom - I visited her on July 9th (I remember the exact date because of the bathroom renovation was in it's second week and I went to do my laundry to Mom's on the Tuesday of that week!). My Mom visited me on Monday the 29th to see the new bathroom when it was ready.

I don't remember the last time I visited my other relatives - these days we usually meet for a coffee in the town sometimes rather than go to each others homes. Seems easier this way and doesn't require as much planning and work.

4. Do your relatives travel to visit you?

Nope. None of the relatives I see sometimes live far away. But we live around the same area/the same town and it's about 30 minutes by car at most everywhere or 45-60 minutes by bus. That's normal and not "travel". My Dad's brother and his wife used to travel to visit us (and us them) once or twice a year from Helsinki (about 2-2,5 hours away by car) back when I was a kid, and my Dad's sister with her family from Harjavalta (about the same by car) but after Dad's death we lost touch with that side of the family. I don't think I've seen them since turning 20 and I'll be 50 next so.

So Mom and I aren't really close with any of our relatives except for each other, but it isn't bad blood anything like that. Just life and circumstance and in a few particular cases, having to move to other cities to get work, that the relationships ended drifting apart over time. My Mom has said that we all lived very close to each other when I was a baby and so spent time together, and then there was also the grandparents who'd everyone visit for Christmas and holidays and birthdays and such and stayed in touch just simply seeing other because of that. But after the grandparents died and people moved further apart with random work schedules and seeing each other started requiring actual planning, a lot of those relationships just drifted apart overtime.

I don't miss having closer relatives but my Mom would like to have a closer relationship with the only brother she has now here in Finland; she's tried, but you can't keep a relationship going all by yourself - it requires two, and he's kinda busy and a kinda messy and Mom's given up. My Mom also has siblings living in Sweden that she's never met or known except for postcards and photos - the siblings were sent to Sweden as tiny toddlers for safety during the Winter War/Continuation War in the early 1940s before Mom was born, and never came back. I don't actually know whether they were formally adopted or if it was another sort of legal arrangement (a lot of kids were sent to safety to Sweden, and it seems most of them didn't return when the war was over), but essentially they have Swedish parents and were raised there as their own kids with their own kids, and are for all intents and purposes Swedish but with Finnish connections and background. I don't think they've ever met their bio family after being sent to Sweden, but there's regular yearly contact with postcards/letters and the occasional phone call.

5. How do you stay in touch with family: phone calls, email, snail mail, texts, other

I talk on the phone with my Mom 1-3 times a week and more often if something is going on, and we also WhatsApp each other several days of the week. Also e-mail but that's more rare these days now that we're using WhatsApp.

Facebook and WhatsApp with all the others.

Answers to today's questions over at thefridayfive @ DW

1. Are you good at fixing things?

I'm good at fixing and upgrading computers and laptops. I'm also pretty good at software problem solving, or figuring out how to do some thing on the computer that I want to do - such as make screencaps from 4K HDR videos, or way back when, figuring out how to deinterlace DVDs with minimal loss of quality while screencapping them.

I can also muddle through simple repairs on my clothes - fix holes in socks and shorten pants but that's about it. I'm also hampered by not owning a sewing machine so things like shortening pants always require a lot of planning because I have to go over to my Mom's to use hers and I only have to do it like once every 5 years so I've always forgotten most of it, so it's not routine or even very familiar process to me. As far as clothes repairs go... the operative word is muddle!

One of the reasons I can't try and learn to fix things is that I don't have the proper tools. A big reason why I can do the computer stuff is that I only needed to buy a few small screw drivers that didn't cost a lot. All the tools like a sewing machine or a drilling machine with all their required parts cost hundreds of euros that I either don't have, or am reluctant to use my little tax return on them just because I might need one like once every four years. I've heard that libraries have sewing machines to loan now (or is it that you can go use one in the library?)  and that's interesting, and possibly good option. But if they're as heavy as my Mom's, you'd need a car to transport it - it's too heavy to transport by bus. And I don't have a car. So that's a minus. But it's something I've kept in mind for the next time I'll need a sewing machine.

2. What kinds of things can you fix?

I've upgraded RAM, hard drives and SSD drives to my laptops. When I had a desktop computers, I did all those plus also added cd-rom drives, dvd-drives and secondary hard drives to my setup. I wanted to upgrade the mother board on my next-to-last desktop computer too but that would have meant upgrading all the other parts as well and getting a new chassis and I wasn't entirely sure I would know to choose parts that all played well together; I didn't have quite that much knowledge/experience. So I ended up just buying a brand new desktop instead because the old one was starting to be too slow to easily run my programs such as Photoshop.

3. Is there anyone in your family who is good at fixing things?

I'm not sure but I think my Dad was - he was good in math and spatial thinking, I think is the word, and he built some few furniture for our camping needs. I think being able to build things like that probably meant he could fix them as well! And in the 1980s our family's car was a Lada - I do remember Dad doing everything the car needed himself as far as he could but that was something everyone did because cars back then were built in a way that you could do much yourself. Oh, and Dad was a welder so I'm sure he could have fixed a lot of things!

My Mom's SO is also good at math and spatial thinking - until recently, he literally always had some project under work! He'd build a brand new thing or fix a thing needed fixing, such as a sliding door that refused to slide smoothly. For me, when I had a mouse problem, he took up the floor of kitchen cabinet where the trash bin etc. is because the mice came up from somewhere under there, and did... stuff... there that blocked the mice from coming in. It's been about 20 years and the fix is still working! He also built a sturdy, wide wooden step for my back door - the drop to ground was too high without so built one in a day! Until recently, Mom's SO always needed to have a project either in planning stages or actually under work - it is actually one of the reasons why they have never lived in a apartment building because he couldn't have projects there and he'd go stir-crazy. It's also one of the reasons why they had a summer cottage for many years - the SO could always have a project to improve it, and they both loved growing potatoes, carrots, onions etc. and having a lot of different berry bushes the products of which they'd either make into a juice or freeze for the winter. The SO is now 84 and has been diagnosed in early stages of dementia, and while he still likes to do stuff, he tires too easily to do like before and has to rest a lot.

4. Has anyone ever taught you how to fix things?

A little, I guess. I taught all the computer stuff to myself. But I know the sewing etc. classes at school had to teach us how to mend clothes but I don't actually remember any of it. I mean I know some things, but I can't remember where/who I learned them from? I know Mom taught me how to shorten my pants.

I really wish my Dad had been alive when I moved on my own. He would have taught me things like drilling a hole in the wall to hang things etc. He was a good and patient teacher (he taught me math because the match teachers failed me at school once we went beyond the fundamental arithmetic operations). Mom's SO is good at building and fixing things, but he doesn't really like to teach and also he speaks unclearly - I only started to understand everything he was saying after he retired and started to be at home much more than until then so I saw much more of him and my ears could get used to his way of speaking (he worked a three-shift job a couple of towns away and was away at work at least half of each month altogether and those years I wouldn't even see him every month depending on how his schedule was). And anyway, our relationship isn't one I could have asked him to teach me.

5. What was the last thing that broke in your home?

The last thing I remember for sure, was the washing machine a couple of years ago. It was 25 years old already so we didn't even think about fixing it but bought a new one outright.

I guess one of the last things to "break" is the lock nest in my bedroom door. One of the screws has a tendency to become loose and stay in place just by a thread or two. I screwed it back in, like I always do.

Been meaning to write this up for a month and here it is finally...

My housing co-op is having a bathroom renovation done in all the apartments, and actual work on the bathroom of the first apartment began a month ago on Monday. They start on 3 new apartments every week (Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday). My bathroom started on July 1t, and my bathroom/sauna/toilet has been out of commission since then and will be for another 2 weeks! Washing machine too because it's in the bathroom. Each bathroom is out of commission for 4 weeks if things go as planned, but if there are any surprise findings such as the humidity measurement shows humidity in the (concrete? whatever is underneath all the tiles etc.) then that might and will prolong the renovation. So far I haven't heard that there's been any surprises like that. I did hear that apparently the company doing the repairs has to fix some walls on the apartment side even though they haven't caused anything to them, because they are made of surface material (the one on top of the concrete) that cracks easily. We have heavy busses going by a few meters away every 7-10 minutes, so a lot of walls have cracked more or less. I heard this "the company has to fix the walls" on Tuesday, but nothing since. The plan as I heard then was to fix it all so that the wall and the bathroom are finished at the same time.

My housing co-op is doing this as an co-op project rather than individual home owner projects that may or may not get done. There's 5 buildings and all were built in 1997-1998. Just over half of the apartments have the original bathrooms still, with the others' owners have renovated since 1998 but even of those, the renovations are getting to be 10 years old and a few apartments the co-op had renovated because of water damage from the leaking ceiling (error made during the building so the apartment owners didn't have to pay the renovation). The original bathrooms are about at the end of life, so the we co-op owners decided to renovate all to get some discounts and ensure no bathroom water mishaps because things start to leak etc. simply because of age.

My building is the first one worked on, and Mondays-Tuesdays-Wednesdays of every week are rather awful as the noise is awful as bathrooms are dismantled with the help of drilling machines! The first week I'd been leaving every morning as soon as they started the drilling, and coming back after 3pm because they're supposed to end their work day at 3.30pm. But on the third day I gave in and bought Peltor earmuffs - just basic cheap ones that cost just under 30 euros and don't have any extra features such as radio, blutooth or microphone. Just simple earmuffs to make the noise less. I've used them so much and they actually work pretty well! They make even the worst drilling sound, the one that goes straight into my bones and nervous system, so much more muffled that i can stay at home. They cut out most of other sounds almost entirely. It's such a huge relief that I don't have to spend full days away, it was too hard and felt ill every day after coming back home and my head was so bad.

The renovation has been going on for 4 weeks now, 2 of which in my own bathroom, and I think I might actually have gotten used to the noise a little! I can't believe it fully, but my headache isn't nearly as bad anymore as it was the first week. It's almost normal! We have a toilet and a shower each for both men and women, so no need to live somewhere else for the duration if you can deal with noise. I was rather nervous about not having immediate access to my toilet because of my Crohn's but so far so good, no problems on that front. I do have to pee too often, like 10-16 times a day and I went to see a doctor about it yesterday. No UTI according to the labs (I've had UTI twice in 2014 and 2020 before so I thought it would be that now too!). More like I might accidentally have trained my bladder to empty too often while I was having sudden uncontrolled diarrhea due to Crohn's Disease for over 10 years. The doctor also thought the stress of the bathroom renovation and having to use the outside toilet with Crohn's Disease and chronic but mostly now controlled diarrhea might have contributed to this pee problem. Also I'm either in or very close to menopause and currently my periods are coming too often (like every 10-12 days after the previous ending) and all that means my hormones are haywire and that can have effect on the bladder and need to pee. I've got an appointment with a University Hospital gynecologist on the 22nd and the doctor said to tell them about the pee problem as well. Last night and today seems to be a little better pee-wise, though, fingers crossed it keeps heading on that track back to normal!

I also have an appointment with a University Hospital neurologist coming up in October, recommended by AKSE that I attended in April and May, to consult on what if anything further can be done for my headaches and migraines. AKSE also recommended physiotherapy and psychophysical physiotherapy and are coming up in the fall. I'll be making an application to KELA for the AKSE recommended medical rehabilitation in after the weekend - they should have my GP's medical certificate about her recommending me for it as well by then.

So lots of important things, and one huge thing going on, right now! My renovated bathroom should be finished and back into my use on July 26th! Can't wait. It's a hard time the whole renovation because of my migraine and even harder the 4 weeks my own bathroom is out of commission - what I get a great new bathroom at the end of the ordeal! And the dismantling of the last bathroom in my building will start on July 24, so after that it should be relatively quiet until mid-August when the building will be entirely finished if things go as planned!

Exciting things!