personal

My answers to Friday's questions at http://f.riday5.com/2024/04/12/friday-5-for-april-12-ladies-and-gentlemen-take-my-advice/

1. What is your favorite shape for ice in a beverage?

Don't have one. I practically never put ice in, and when I do, it's just your standard cube. I don't have other shapes and I don't care.

2. When did you last apply ice (or something functioning similarly) to your body?

I regularly and often use one of those ice gel packs that are stored in the fridge or the freezer on my forehead or temples when I'm having a migraine attack, or just an otherwise worse-than-normal bad head day. I'm not sure when the last time was - it was this month but whether it was this week or last week, I can't say for sure it's so common but not every day occurrence...

I dream of trying on one of those migraine gel pack hats which cover the whole head and eyes and which are stored in the fridge/freezer between uses so it's cold when you have a migraine attack, but I haven't found anywhere in Finland I can buy them from and getting one from from abroad is expensive and I don't trust that the sizing works and so am wary of getting one that is too small/too big... It's been on my list of things to get for years now for when I have "extra" money to spend but it's very far down indeed because I can make do with the single gel packs and other more important/useful/fun things come first.

3. What was the occasion for your most recently toting something with ice in a cooler?

Probably when my family did camping in the 1980s when I was a kid.

4. What is the iciest movie you’ve seen?

Not movie but the tv show Fortitude jumped to mind - it's has pretty icy conditions! As for movies, maybe The Thing from 1982...?

5. What are some good songs with “ice” in the title or lyrics?

Fire And Ice by Pat Benatar is the first one that came to my mind. It's been one of my favorite songs since I was a kid!

I can't think of other good ones right now.

https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/125170.html

1. Rice or potatoes?

Potatoes.

2. Fish or red meat?

I don't prefer one over the other, but I only eat like two kinds of fish (smoked salmon and fish sticks and the kind of fish used in "fish and chips" in the UK). But really, both fish and red meat are mostly too expensive these days to eat things like steaks every week. But minced meat in a macaroni casserole that lasts for 4-5 days is okay price-wice.

Smoked salmon is very expensive so it's in the treat department and I usually only buy it once a month, and still only if the price is under a certain amount.

3. Salad or cooked vegetables?

Salad and I need to be able to choose which vegetables go into it. And still I prefer them laid out separately, instead mixed together in a salad. I don't like cooked vegetables (texture and feel) except when they are made into a smooth soup.

4. Cake or ice cream?

Really depends on the kind of cake it is! If it's a bundt cake, probably ice cream. But if it's a layer cake with whipped cream topping and whipped cream + fruits or strawberries filling, then the cake.

5. Water, soft drink, wine, beer, or hard alcohol?

I don't drink alcohol, and soft drinks can get boring if I drink them too often, so water it is. And water is best when I'm qenuinely thirsty.

The Friday Five for 22 March 2024 - https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/124924.html

1. What is your native language?

Finnish.

2. Do you speak any other languages? Which ones?

I read and write English fluently, and speak it less so (don't need to speak it much so I haven't had the practice to get fluent).

Learning Swedish all through the school and vocational school/university is mandatory, but I can't speak it and can only read it with very great difficulty, with a dictionary, up to a certain point. Nowadays, after having watched so many Swedish crime tv series, I can understand enough to get the gist of the thing, say, when I watch the news, but for anything longer and more in depth, I need subtitles.

I also studied French for two years in school in 1988-89, but other than saying my name or asking what time it is, I can't speak it or understand it.

3. How difficult is it for you to learn or understand new languages?

English was very easy but Swedish was very difficult and I never really got the gist of it. French was somewhere in between and the pronunciation was the most difficult part. Our French teacher was very particular that we'd learn to pronounce it well.

4. If you were going to study a new foreign language, which would you want to learn?

I'd re-start learning French. There are a couple of books that I'd love to read which haven't been translated to English nor Finnish. Once of them has been translated into Swedish, but I can't read the language well enough to manage to get through the book - I tried!

5. How are you at reading subtitles in foreign films?

It's the norm for me. Subtitles for foreign films and tv shows are the norm here (except for the movies/tv shows for babies and kindergarteners which are dubbed in Finnish). The majority of (fictional) tv shows and movies shown on television here are foreign here, so you learn to read subtitles as a tiny kid if you watch practically any television almost by accident. I also want subtitles for Finnish things because the actors always mumble and/or the audio work/sound effects drown out the dialogue. I generally use English subtitles for English and other language things because they are often easier to find than Finnish subtitles (and the Finnish translation is sometimes really bad on more obscrure things).

About 20 years ago, YLE tested dubbing The Bold and The Beautiful in Finnish for two weeks (an episode was shown every day), and the outcry was loud. Nobody wanted dubbing! Everyone, including me, thought it was horrible - original audio always, please!

Friday 5 for March 22: Initial here - http://f.riday5.com/2024/03/22/friday-5-for-march-22-initial-here/

1. What do you remember about your first camera?

I've only ever owned one camera myself and only had it for a few years before phones with cameras became a thing. The only thing I truly remember is that I took a lot of photos with it on my first trip to London in 1997 or was it 1998. I'm not sure - I might still actually have it lolling around somewhere. I have no memory at all whether I've gotten rid of it or not.

I never took much photos before the phone cameras.

2. What do you remember about your first cell phone?

The very first cell phone I ever used was my best friend's Ericson - I had it for about a year before deciding that yes, cell phones were cool and wanted my own. My friend loaned the Ericson to me in 1999, as she had gotten a newer cell phone from her family as I recall (her father was something of a technology enthusiast), also an Ericson, I think.

The first cell phone I actually owned was a Nokia 3210 (mine was the silver/gray color pictured in that link), and I asked for this particular model as a birthday gift from my Mom! I LOVED that phone - it's was the best cell phone of the basic three cell phones I had before I got my first smart phone and probably the best I've ever had. It just fit perfectly my hand and was so comfortable to hold, and the calls never had any trouble and I loved the way it looked and the color. The other two basic cell phones I had were the Nokia 3510 (the beige/orange color shown in this link) which was my second one, and I think the third one was a Nokia 6300 but I'm not completely sure - it looks like the one I had quite a lot but not entirely but that just might be color in the picture (mine was black/silver) and the model number feels familiar and the buttons certainly look like it. I didn't like this third cell phone at all! It was too thin, too narrow, too short, the buttons were situated too low and it was just damn uncomfortable to hold and use. The previous two phones I had for 3-4 years, but this one I had only for 1,5-2 years, unhappy with it the entire time and that spurred me on to get my first smart phone in 2009, a year or two sooner than I otherwise might have.

3. What do you remember about your first radio?

Nothing. I had my own radio/casette player as far back as I can remember as a kid (I listed to music literally every waking second) - I do remember we had to buy a new one every few years because they'd would always start to break my tapes and ruin them. I used them so much.

I've never actually bought a radio for myself! I don't listen to radio, and my Mom bought a stereo tower for me, with an LP player, radio, 2-casette decks and a 5-cds player. I still have that stereo tower and all th parts except for the casette decks still work great, so what with that tower and smart phones and computers and laptops, I've never needed to buy a radio. Not to mention, I never ever listen to radio. I don't even have the stations saved in the stereo tower.

4. What do you remember about your first countertop kitchen appliance (or device)?

I'm not sure what this means? The first I ever kitchen appliance bought myself was an electric hand mixer and I bought it pretty much the first week I ever lived alone, after I had moved to Vantaa while starting the library studies. But the hand mixer never lives on top of the counter, but in the cupboard. On top of the counter, I have a microwave oven, an electric kettle (and a broken stand mixer I should get rid of). But the only reason they are on the top of the counter is because in a small apartment there aren't enough room in the cupboards for them. If I could, I'd put them out of sight. I'm pretty sure that my previous microwave oven was the first one to actually live on the top of counter - I bought it when I moved into my apartment in 1998 from my childhood home and it worked great for about 20 years. I lived alone in my childhood home for a couple of years because Mom moved in with her SO; we had a microwave oven in my childhood home but it was from 1980s and so big, that we saw that my new home didn't have enough countertop room for it (there was too little right from the start - the curse of small apartments). So I bought a new, smaller one immediately after the move.

5. What do you remember how to do from your first job?

My very first job ever was wrapping Christmas work-place-gifts for my Mom's then-work-place's employees. This took 3 nights of a week in November/December, about 4-5 hours an evening and I did it for two or three Christmases. My school day would end at either 2pm or 3pm and I'd go straight from school to Mom's work by bus, gift wrap their gifts until 8pm and then take the bus home. It was a nice income for a few hours of easy work for a teenager! It was in 1988-1989 but I think I still benefit from having to wrap so many presents in such a sort time even to this day by having more agile fingers and having the forethought to think about what I'm doing first before doing it to streamline the process and make it sensible.

Asnwers to this week's questions at thefridayfive@Dreamwidth

1) What's normal March weather like in your area?

Windy, rainy, snowy, slushy, gray, freezing, warmish.

2) Are you following any spring sports?

I don't follow any sports ever, so nope.

3) What's a summer wardrobe staple you haven't had out since last season (or if you're southern hemisphere, answer this for winter)?

Summer weight (read: thin, airy and light) shorts and culotte pants.

4) What's your favorite spring break memory?

I don't have memories that I can for sure say happened on a spring break. But I hated school so I was always just delighted when I didn't have to go and waited for all breaks like a treasure.

5) How do you feel about daylight savings time?

Hate it. I want it to stop and preferably winter time becoming the norm. But I just really, really want switching clocks to stop entirely and don't mid if it's summer time that's chosen as the time that stays as long as it stops. But winter time is my preference.

I think this is going to be long! My health update, rehab and thoughts about Mom's SO broken hip's treatment. Basically, two what-the-fucks and two mostly on the positive side!

*******Insomnia*******

I've been having a difficult start of the year. In early January everything was still normal (well, my normal - not good, but okay and I could deal with it for the most part). But the week starting with January 22, 2024 I've been feeling bad and uncomfortable so much! My sleep problems went back to insomnia - that week started with the 22nd, I slept only every other night. Then the night before Monday next and Tuesday, I didn't sleep at all either night. And of course it was just when I supposed to partake in a TE-toimisto mandated short job seeker's course - which meant I had to go get doctor's/nurses notes for Tuesday and Wednesday, after somehow managing to get through Monday course day with restlessness, migraine and terrible exhaustion.

Since then I've been able to sleep some most nights, with maybe one night a week with no sleep at all. The nurse I saw that "I need a note for TE-toimisto" Tuesday, referred me to a sleep nurse specialist because I have been having sleep problems and outright insomnia for a decade. I also got a medication to help me fall asleep, that usually does seem to help but sometimes doesn't work. I'm limited on the meds I can use because of the liver thing back in 2014. I've seen the sleep specialist nurse for three times now, and I'm working on changing my sleep patterns because they're all wrong. Basically, I've been sleeping whenever I managed to get to sleep - whether that's 11am in the morning or 8pm in the evening. I usually feel the best when I go to sleep between 8pm - 10pm and get up (after actually sleeping more or less the whole night) at 6am, and no later than 9am if I'm still too exhausted at 6am to stay up after taking my morning meds. Back before 2008, when I was healthy, I needed 9 hours of sleep to feel refreshed and for early mornings not be pure torture. So we're aiming for that 9 hours now again. Apparently too much sleep is also bad, and cause tiredness. I've been feeling like 12 hours of sleep after becoming ill is needed for me to feel even somewhat rested.

For more than a decade, the problem has been that sleep doesn't refresh me and both Crohn's Disease and chronic migraine and their meds and other meds I have to take can also cause exhaustion. And migraine attack often stop me from sleeping at night, or force me to sleep during the day after it's over because if I don't, the chance of the migraine attack renewing later in the same day is more likely than not. Also the chronic diarrhea caused by Crohn's Disease often stopped me from sleeping at night because I had to keep going to the toilet up to 10 times during the night sometimes. So keeping a regular sleeping pattern went out the window when my chronic migraine and Crohn's Disease were at the worst about 2008-2016. I had to get whatever sleep I could, when I could. I wasn't working when it all started, and if I had been, maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad because the doctors would've had to had work harder on controlling my symptoms because the employer would complain about my absences and sick leaves. Although I'm not sure it would have helped because the first time bowel inflammation showed up in biopsies was when my 4th colonoscopy was done, 4 years after the start of the chronic diarrhea, and I finally received the Crohn's Disease diagnosis after 4 years. But anyway, the end result is that my sleep pattern is totally wrong, out of whack and that sleep hasn't been refreshing me since about 2010.

I have no idea what causes my current insomnia problems. I do have stress, but it's the same stress about health that I've been having since 2008 and health stress actually hadn't been as bad as it used to be for a couple of years now because my symptoms have been better! There's also the money stress, but I've been having that my whole adult life except for the bits I've had actual paying jobs. So most of my adult life I've been worried about money and making rent. One thing that is bad now is that Finland has a new far-right-wing government since last May and literally ALL of the plans are awful, as far as economics, education, civilization etc. etc. go. Their cuts will have huge effect on my finances and life starting January 1, 2025. But I've known about them since they first published the in the summer so why would insomnia suddenly now set in?? On the other hand, I do feel that as long as this far-right-wing government is in office, there is no hope for me personally, and that Finland is traveling backwards and completely in wrong directions on all possible fronts that have to do with economics, poverty, unemployment, disability, humanity, civilization and education. There is nothing positive in sight as far as the politics go, currently. Then there's the KELA stress though, because this year KELA has fucked up both January and February in a very beginner way they shouldn't make such errors (but the cutbacks that are required by our far-right-wing goverment and KELA banks on people not seeking rectification of errornous decisions!) and while January was rectified, I'm still waiting on the February decision, and if KELA fucks up March too, I won't be able to buy any meds myself this month (I'm running out on several) and probably will have to ask my Mom to help me buy them while I take the matter up further the chain.

Anyway, I've started working on the sleep pattern (since Friday) the way the sleep nurse said: limit the time spent in bed, and only be in bed for sleep and sex. So I'm trying to limit my med time to 9pm - 6am, no matter how much or little I've slept. And to not sleep after 10am or take naps during the day/in the afternoon because those affect falling asleep at night. Naps during the day aren't that much of a problem because once I started a B-vitamin supplement that has all the B-vitamins, assuming that I slept at least somewhat (like 4-5 hours) at night, I can stay up through the day without too much hardship. But when I didn't sleep at all, or only maybe 3 hours, or just dozed but felt like I was conscious the whole time, that's when it's hard. Sometimes impossible. But I'm going to try to make a damn hard try until the next time I see the sleep nurse in two weeks. I only fear that the chronic diarrhea or chronic migraine will force me to keep up at night because those are things, especially the migraine, that I can control only so far.

********Weird attacks************

For a while now I've been having these weird bouts of feeling awful: usually with a migraine attack or an almost one (but not always), more flatulence than normal (normal for me is none or so little I don't notice), freezing while feeling hot on the outside. I think these happen when my period is close (a week or less) to starting or the first day of it or so. Nexplanon was implanted in my arm last May, in hopes it would stop my periods entirely. It didn't, but it reduced to them to mostly spotting. But then the last, I don't know, 2-3 months? My period's have been coming more often - currently it's every two weeks. They last for 6-9 days usually currently. Usually very light bellyache. I still like these current periods better because of the spotting and the lesser bellyache - now I don't feel sick during bleeding like always before. But now I get these bouts of weirdness as described. Every week or every other week. Usually seems to help taking diarrhea prevention med and the one that should reduce flatulence (not as effective as the discontined med I had for that purpose before). I'm usualy also restless - might space around my apartment, or move back and forth in my chair. If I'm in bed, I turn every minute. No position is good position.

And then the freezing while hot thing - what with that?? The thing that comes to my mind first is menopause; I'm that age that it could be! But also a lot of chronic migraineurs tell of cold chills and hot flashes. My freezing hot chills get so bad I shake, but putting my arms under the covers feels too hot and pushing my leg out from under the covers feels freezing cold! Such fun!

One bout lasts anything from 2-6 hours. I think I'm slowly learning how to treat them - the trick seems to be to take enough the anti-diarrhea med, but not too much to cause constipation... the amount of anti-diarrhea med need during periods seems to be a lot bigger than when I'm not having my period. I'm not sure whether this is because my Crohn's Disease diarrhea and symptoms have actually lessened in the last couple of years (they have!), but the period then worsens them for a few days or a week, or is it all caused by migraine (stomach migraine?). I did notice before I got sick in 2008, that I had more bowel movements during my periods than at other times, so it could be just that. But the weird thing is that other than the usually worse-than-normal head pain during a bout, I have no pains. Flatulence and farts yes, stomach pain - nope. Always before, when Crohn's Disease cause these sorts of things, there were either mild or bad stomach cramps.

I had one of these fit during that Monday of January 29th of job seeking course I mentioned above, and I got through it by pacing in front of my laptop and shaking. It was just awful. It got that worse soon after the start, so I didn't think first anything that bad was coming in addition to the migraine I was having already. I got through the day somehow but wasn't truly able to concentrate on the matter at hand, although it distracted me too. But I'm having these often enough, that they'd cause absences if I were working. These fits are fucking frustrating. I'm so out of patience feeling that awful so often.

I had one fit yesterday (Saturday) starting around 4pm, and then another starting on last night around 3am. I still don't feel normal, but instead like it could start again. I've had a window open a lot today, to let in cold, fresh air because it seems to help.

This is again another time in a long line of health gets better -> some new symptom or illness pops up. So far this has happened every time my health has been stable, and in recent years, also better, for a while.

It's looking threateningly like I'll have to talk to my GP and my gastro doc about these fits if they keep interrupting my life so badly. Just to hopefully figure out whether its the conflation of all my major illnesses in one for a bit, or menopause, or stomach migraine or fucking what.

********Rehab******************

TE-toimisto (the unemployment office) suggested last year that if my long-time sick leave is denied (which it was), I'd apply for ammatillinen kuntoutusselvitys (AKSE) by KELA. This isn't actual rehabilition, but an programme where a patient or someone with problems with functionality in regards to work and studying can apply to. It's consists of max 10-11 days, involves a doctor, psychologist, physiotherapist and other professionals as needed to find out and evaluate a patient's possibilities and limits on physical, mental etc. functionality. The aim is to find a way forward towards work or study, but I think also if disability is the right status. But this being KELA, work or study is the preferred option no matter what. I'm very curious about it, and hope they and me can find a way out/forward for me from this limbo I'm in. I'm not going to get any better, so what there is now, is what's it's there going to be and any work or studying will have to work at my current level.

It's planned to take place in mid-April and I'm a little worried that my insomnia and those weird fits will ruin it. But I'm looking forward to it!

******Mom's SO's broken hip*****************

A little over a month ago my Mom's SO slipped and fell outside their home ate in the evening, and broke his hip. He was in the hospital for about a week and was then released home, and since then we've been so impressed with how well the health care organization is taking care of him! Every week a physiotherapist comes to their home to put him and his legs through the exercises to help his injured leg to heal and strengthen, and apparently this is going to go on for months! And a nurse also comes once a week, to also put him through usually other leg exercises with the same aim. On their first visit, the physio and the nurses also charted their home conditions - such as what helping tools they need (toilet helpers etc.), or a ramp to get in or out, whether they need home help, etc etc. Nurses have also charted his/their eating habits, and strongly recommend that Mom's SO should start drinking 1-2 bottles of nutrition shakes a day because he doesn't eat fruits and also doesn't get enough protein. He's just very stubborn so it's a work in progress with those shakes. The doctors are also doing all sorts of tests such Doppler ultrasound, X-rays, Alzheimer's/memory tests because he has stomach problems, dizziness and showed signs of memory issues in a narrower memory test and at some point they're also going to do something so he hopefully will get a better hearing device. They are really looking into all that now, and we are of course very glad! But Mom says she's so stressed because she isn't used to having so much going on. And the nurses etc. always call her to arrange appointments because he doesn't hear properly. And she has to drive now all the time and he's a terrible backseat driver. But at least she's used to driving because of her hobbies.

I'm so glad he's getting all this help, but a cynical part of me keeps thinking it only because the health org needs to make sure he can manage at home if at all possible. It's well known that there is a terrible lack of assisted living and care for old people, and old people homes (for people who aren't ill but can't take care of their home anymore) don't exist anymore. People are kept at home and then they fall/burn themselves/forget to eat because of weakness/dementia/Alzheimer's and get brought to emergency and are returned home and fall/burn themselves/forget to eat because of weakness/dementia/Alzheimer'sagain and taken to emergency and then home again. So I keep thinking they doing all this work just make sure he can manage at home so that he won't add pressure into the assisted living care. I'm sure the nurses and physios etc. do it all because they want to help him, not because politics of the politicians. But I keep thinking that's the reason for the hightened attention.

Although, I hadn't realized that a broken hip is so much worse than a planned hip replacement that both my Mom and he had had before. We are also sort of sour that when Mom's hip was replaced, and then re-operated on because it kept displacing, she was kept in the hospital a day or two and then sent home. The first time she saw the physio was several weeks later, had to go there herself and saw the only 3-4 times over several months. Basically, she was left on her on to make the exercises and to mend. Now as we are seeing how her SO's mending is, it's so much more effective with more attention and care.

This week's questions at f.riday5.com

1. What makes you feel pleasantly young?

So I always feel young! I never feel old or even middle-aged... is that weird? I'm always surprised when I remember that my age starts now with "4-something". And this year I get to be surprised every time I realize that on my next birthday I'll be 50! 8-O :-D 

Inside myself, I always just feel the same way I felt when I was 16. Although I recognize I've changed and matured in many respects, in many ways I still just feel just the same as when I was 16, 18 or 25 or whatever.

2. What makes you feel pleasantly, uh, seasoned?

That I can see many sides to issues, and everything is not black & white. I used to be very black & white person about the things that mattered to me.

When I realize 1995 was 30 years ago - I always feel it was just a few years ago!

Whenever I realize I'm so much more comfortable in my own skin now than I was before my mid-30s.

3. What makes you feel optimistic?

Marin's government (the previous government) made be feel optimistic because of its left-leaning politics and policies. I felt like the poor, the sick and the unemployed (meaning: people like me!) were seen as people and persons in their own right and that human rights belong to us too. And that Finland had a good future ahead of us. All that went away with Orpo's government :evil:

Star Trek TNG (and 1960-1990s Star Trek in general!) makes me feel optimistic. In recent years I've realized I've based my human values and vision for the future very much on how humanity and Federation is portrayed in TNG.

4. What makes you feel competent?

Lately it's been realizing my reading comprehension is a lot better than many other people's, particularly when it comes to bureaucratic texts such as KELA's decisions letters. So many people post asking "I got this decision from KELA. I don't understand what it says - what does it mean?" but to me the text they are puzzled about is crystal clear, just formulated in a bureaucratic way.

I think it's because I read so much and always have, and I have my parents, particularly my Mom, to thank for this! It makes life much easier. I read in several genres, both fiction and non-fiction, and in Finnish and English. And I write myself too, I bet that helps as well.

Few years ago, KELA had a project to go through and re-word all their texts in a less bureaucratic manner. I'm not sure how well it worked - I personally think that now it takes longer to get to the actual decision (yes or no) in some of their decision letters, but it could be that I'm still used to the old format due to having had to deal with that for literally over 20 years.

5. What makes you happy to be alive?

Whenever I hear great music, read an interesting book or a fic, and when I do crafts or art (particularly physical - not in Photoshop) myself. And of course, being with my Mom or best friend!

This year spiffikins at Dreamwidth put together daily questions for the year 😀 

1. Are We Becoming ‘Numb’ to School Shootings?

In Finland? No. I think we've only had 5 incidents of violence in schools that led to deaths and only two of those were gun violence. So school shootings are not a common occurrence here and we're not getting numb about about them.

2. What Words Do You Hate?

I don't hate any words.

3. What Recent Events Will Most Likely Be Featured in History Museums Someday?

COVID-19.

4. When Do You Choose Making a Phone Call Over Sending a Text?

When it's something that needs to get answers or relay information ASAP.

In case of family and friends, when I want to hear the other person's voice because we haven't talked in a while. Or when there's a lot of stuff to talk about and writing it all out feels cumbersome.

5. What Temperature Do You Set the A/C or Heat To Be Comfortable?

Most Finnish homes don't have A/C as a rule so I can't do anything truly working about comfortable during the summer when it gets hot. But in the winter, I try to adjust the radiator so that the indoors temperature is 20-21 degrees celcius.

6. What Are Your Favorite Works of Art?

I have a lot of musical favorites but not things like paintings. Here's a few:

Porz Goret by Yann Tiersen

The Last of the Mohicans soundtrack tracks by Trevor Jones. I also love the cover by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKIfQB8OhR8">Shamrock Redheads</a>, one of the best ones I've heard!

7. How Do You Remember What You Need to Remember?

I used to be able to just keep it all in my head, but since being in daily pain for going on 16 years now, I've noticed I can't remember things anymore. So it's paper lists, yearly paper appointment diary, and two digital calendars for me now!

8. Have You Ever Stumbled Upon a Cool Public Performance?

Live? Nope. I've seen some Youtube videos though.

9. What Are the Animals in Your Life?

Unfortunately I don't have animals in my life at all. We used to have an adorable, wonderfully loving and completely nuts Beagle, Caro, but she passed 20 years ago this year. I still miss her!

10. What Did/Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

An starship officer and a scientist aboard the USS Enterprise. Or barring that, a librarian.

11. What Are Your Favorite Viral Videos?

Don't have one. I don't really do social media, and I guess that's where viral videos are because I never come across them.

12. Should a College Education be Free?

Yes, and it is, in a way. Thus far, at least. The far-right wing government is planning to change that.

13. When Did You Last Have a Great Conversation?

Today.

14. How Do You Feel About Valentine’s Day?

It's a commercial day among other commercial days.

15. Is Shakespeare Too Hard?

Nope. But it's boring.

16. Are You the Same Person on Social Media as You Are in Real Life?

Nope. I'm very little on social media, and only post with my fannish persona there what little I post.

17. Does Punctuation in Text Messages Matter?

It does to me! Texting didn't exist until I was around 25, so writing and reading text speak takes more effort and brain power than just writing the normal way for me.

18. Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years?

The same as now - mostly likely unemployed and poor because of chronic illnesses. I hope to be on disability retirement by then but it isn't very likely.

19. Do You Speak a Second, or Third, Language?

Yes, English. Finnish is my mother tongue, I'm fluent in English and have some very rudimentary understanding of Swedish because it's Finland's second official language and forcibly teached in all schools at all levels.

20. Did You Like School?

Nope. I hated school when I was a kid and teenager because the other kids were loud, rowdy and generally behaved like idiots literally all the time.

The occupational and library schools were better because the youngest people in my classes were already at least 20 years old and several were closer to 30 or even 40 who were getting formal certificates or switching careers. But I still didn't like it - it was just more tolerable.

21. Is It Harder to Grow Up in the 21st Century Than It Was in the Past?

I does sound like school is harder now than in my day (80s and 90s). It sounds like there's been a lot of new methods of teaching adopted in the last 20 years and lately there's been lots of outpouring from parents that the methods aren't working and the kids are expected to basically teach themselves and each other without help from teachers. That the teachers just hand over all the tasks for a season and the kids are expected to plan their schedules and learning themselves. Which is just insane. It certainly wouldn't have worked for me. No wonder our PISA scores are falling! No wonder kids don't learn reading, or math, anymore! I've also heard that there's a great pressure already in years 6-9 to plan and study to get great grades for high school and university and what career you're going to have, to make the right choice. And the school isn't considered for civilization anymore, but just to produce productive workers for companies and society. Don't know how true that is.

22. Have You Ever Performed for an Audience or Shared Creative Work With Others?

I've shared creative work with others online a lot, and do that regularly.

I've never performed for an audience. Except for the small, few minutes presentations we had to do in school a few times a year. But nothing like that since finishing library school in 1995. Performing for an audience is a nightmare of mine. I hated those school presentations and they'd make me a nervous wreck. I hate being the center of attention.

23. Should Terminally Ill Patients Be Allowed to Die on Their Own Terms?

Yes.

24. How, and by Whom, Should Children Be Taught Appropriate Behavior?

Parents or guardians. School.

25. Do You Like to Exercise?

Hate it.

26. What Places Do You Remember Fondly From Childhood?

My Dad's Union's camping site. We spent most of all our summers there until Dad got ill. When I think of my childhood summers, the first thought is always the adventures I had on that camping site. There was a big forest on one side and ocean on the other, so we spent our summers wondering in the woods, climbing the big rocks and swimming in the sea. My family had sort of like an house tent which had a kitchen area and a separate sleeping compartment, and often a friend or another of mine would stay with us for week there. When we got a little older, around 8 or so, Mom and Dad erected a small tent just for us kids that we'd sleep in while they slept in the big tent with a separate sleeping compartment. Back in those days, there still were mobile stores (a normal size bus converted into a grocery) and one such came once (or twice?) to a stop near-by, and we'd go and buy whatever groceries we were running out of... or just for ice cream! It was also usual that our friend families woud visit us on the camp site in the summer for an afternoon of fun, swimming and good food.

27. Can Graffiti Ever Be Considered Art?

I don't think I've ever seen graffiti that appealed to me personally, but I have seen a lot of graffiti that made a dull, gray concrete wall more fun than it was as before the graffiti. I think graffiti can be considered art when you can see there's a plan to it and it isn't just random scribblings and squirts.

28. Do You Believe in Ghosts?

Nope.

29. Are Digital Photographs Too Plentiful to Be Meaningful?

I don't know that the number of them is a problem. It's more that the quality can be lousy, or taken unnecessarily of a situation or a thing.

Today's questions at thefridayfive@DW

1. Your favorite book?

Still can't name one above all others! And these can change place sometimes too!

Whispers by Dean R. Koontz - been my favorite since I was about 10, but recently I'm not sure it's actually by its own merits or because of family memories attached. My Dad, who had recently been diagnosed with cancer, who didn't read a lot, was on sick leave and needed something to spend time on, and he started reading more. He liked this book so much that I read it too! I loved it so much that then Mom (who has always read a lot like me) read it too just because Dad and me had enjoyed it so much. Ever since Dean R. Koontz became an writer that we all read, and Mom and me continue to read to this day. It was something 25+ year tradition - only stopped because around 2011 they stopped making translations into Finnish and Mom can't read English, so now I'm the only one who reads them anymore. And even I have been losing taste for Koontz's books. The several last ones feel very formulaic, and like there's always the same kind of family the focus with a genious or a supernatural kid. But his 1980s/1990s books are good!

Seveneves by Neal Stephenson - this book stuck with me in a way few other works have. I read it twice in a short period of time, and I'll read it a third time in not too distand future. The disaster, hard survival, evolution of humanity just caught me hook, line and sinker. This is the book that got me interested in modern hard scifi. I never could sustain interest while trying to read Asimov or whatever classics.

The Expanse book series by James S. A. Corey - love the mystery and the adventure and the space travel and techonology that is totally different from things like Star Trek or Star Wars.

2. Your favorite movie?

I can't name one that is above all the others! More like by genre. To name a few:

Scifi/horror: Alien/Aliens (in my mind these two are sort of one)

Scifi/action: The Terminator

History/drama/action/romance: The Last of the Mohicans

History/musical/drama: The Piano

Sometimes these also change if I've recently re-watched some old favorite!

3. Your least favorite adaptation of a book to a movie?

I've hated all the movie adaptions made of Dean R. Koontz's novels. Badly scripted, badly acted, badly shot and badly directed with low production values.

4. Your least favorite adaptation ever of anything to a movie?

Same as #3.

5. Your first ever novel/comic book/movie character crush?

Novel: I can't remember. Mom read to me since I was a baby and I'm sure I had a crush on a character when I was tiny, considering how things have gone since. First I think I remember, maybe, was Julian (although he is called Leo in the Finnish editions so he's Leo to me) from The Famous Five by Enid Blyton. Maybe.

Comic book: Silver Arrow from the Silver Arrow comics.

I don't remember a movie crush, but here's the first tv crush I think I remember: Robin from the 1984 UK tv series Robin of Sherwood.

Today's questions at f.riday5.com!

1. What’s the strangest food you’ve eaten out of a can?

I don't eat strange foods! And I don't eat a lot of canned foods - just some fruits (mainly peaches or pineapple) and meatballs-in-a-brown-sauce a few times a year.

2. What food most recently made you ill?

I can't remember - thankfully! It's been a while now that my Crohn's Disease is under much better control.

But one time I'll always remember was sometime in the summer of 2008 when I had gallstones. There was this one day when I ate fresh strawberries with kuohukerma (I think that's double cream in English). The cream caused a really bad gallstone attack late that night, so bad that if I hadn't known I'd likely been having gallstones attacks that summer I would thought I was having a heart attack. (I was waiting for the gall bladder ultrasound but that's what my doctor thought was happening to me). After that, I didn't eat anything with fatty cream and avoided fatty foods in general until after the removal of my gall bladder!

3. What movie makes you really want to eat?

No movie makes me want to eat, but any novel that describes a cheese sandwich does! It always sounds so delicious! But then when I make one myself, it's never so good.

4. What haven’t you eaten in a really, really long time?

There are so many things! I'm rather picky, have a rather set selection of foods I usually buy. I don't eat many common things just simply because I'm neutral/not interested in them when I'm buying food and cooking for myself. They are not bad or anything, just meh. But the one thing I sort of miss is cucumber even though it's never been a staple of mine - the prices went ridiculous and right out of my budget a year or two ago when the inflation set in. Same with tomatoes but I don't miss those as much.

5. What did you most recently eat in a moving vehicle?

I don't have even the foggiest of when the last time might've been, it's been so long. I don't have the need because I'm never away from home, restaurant or my Mom's long enough, or have so little time between thingies, that I have to eat on the move. I drink water on the move for thirst, and sometimes have to take my meds on the move, but no need to eat.

I usually eat home, or at Mom's if I'm visiting. But mainly at home. The last time I ate in an unusual place (a hospital cafe) was a couple of years ago, when I had blood work done early in the morning and and had to fast for that for 12 hours, and then had a meeting with someone an hour after the labs in the same hospital and knew that meeting might take more than an hour, and then I had to do grocery shopping still so it would take too long to get breakfast if I waited until I got back home. So I had breakfast in the hospital cafe while waiting for the meeting.