personal

Answers to this week's questions at thefridayfive@DW

1. Have you ever been the president of anything?

Nope.

2. What do you think is the most important leadership trait?

Well, the current far-right goverment is giving us a master class example of what politics look like when "there is no place for empathy in politics". So, I'm saying empathy.

3. What time period did you find the most interesting to learn about in history class?

I can't choose. I loved learning about Mesopotamia, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, Ancient Rome, Mayans, Incas, the Aztecs... really, about the only thing I didn't love learning history about was anything after the year 1900. Some of after-1900 I also found interesting but didn't love it. I hated school but history was probably my most least hated subject at school and I loved learning pretty much all that we were taught.

4. What's something you think about doing, but you haven't gotten back into in several years?

Biking. I keep thinking how quickly I could bike to places like the grocery or my Mom's. Also it'd be easier to carry heavy shopping bags and so could take the bike instead of the bus. The bags are usually too heavy to carry and the walk home just too long with them. I'd probably have re-learn how to bike though because I haven't even tried biking in 20+ years and don't own one.

5. If you could add one more random holiday to February, what would it be?

To be honest: I wouldn't. There's already Runebergin päivä (Runeberg's day, not a holiday from work/school but special day and special cakes in shops), laskiainen (um, Shrovetide? also not a holiday from work/school, but a special day with laskiaispulla (sweet bun with traditionally raspberry jam or almond paste filling and whipped cream filling) possibly with hot chocolate and sledding if enough snow on the ground) and then at the end of the month, the winter holiday from schools. So February is already busy enough with specialness!

Answers to today's questions at f.riday5.com

1. How do you feel about vending machine food?

I don't. I can't even remember seeing a vending machine for decades now. I'm sure there must be some somewhere, just not where I usually go like the gastro department in the hospital I go to or the health station. And if there's vending machines where I go, I haven't noticed them because there's at least one grocery nearby everywhere I go and often several, so of course I'd buy from the groceries because it's cheaper.

The only place I regularly see vending machines in are US tv series and movies.

2. Where on this planet is the vending machine you’ve given the most money?

I don't have clear memories of ever buying anything from a vending machine, just a few very faint ones. I don't buy from vending machines, they don't feature in any way in my life. There might have been once or twice, I have a faint feeling, that I probably bought a 0,5 litre bottle of Seven Up or a Jaffa at the Helsinki train station vending machine once or twice when I was traveling between my library studies city and home city for the weekend so it would've been 30 years ago now. I was raised to bring everything I need with me, including drinks and food, when at all possible. Because buying from the grocery is always cheaper than buying from a vending machine.

I'm also sure when I was a little kid, around 10, and we toured Finland during two summers, staying at camping areas in our tent, that we used to buy some drinks from the vending machines in those camping areas. But it never was something we did a lot and was more of a small treat and not a routine thing.

3. Have you ever purchased a non-food, non-beverage item from a vending machine?

I don't remember/have a feeling of ever buying anything but drinks from a vending machine. Vending machines really don't feature in my life.

4. Where’s the nearest vending machine right now, and what would you get from it if you were to go immediately?

No idea and nothing. There are a couple of groceries and kiosks near me that I'd go to if I needed something immediately (or ever).

5. What would you like to see in a vending machine?

I don't care.

Answers to today's questions at thefridayfive@DW.

1. At what age did you discover you had a favorite color?

No idea. I remember loving pale blue and silver as a kid as far back as I can remember. I still love silver but only like pale blue, and have since childhood added certain pinks and lilacs/violets to my favorite colors row.

2. What type (genre) of film do you prefer to see in a theater versus one you'd watch at home?

I prefer the same both in a theater and home. Scifi with horror, thriller, drama and/or action/adventure elements. Think something like Alien/Aliens or The Terminator. I do enjoy seeing visually impressive films in a theater because they look so handsome on the big screen, but I also love watching them at home on a small screen.

3. What's your oldest object or item since childhood?

I don't have things like dolls or teddy bears or whatever like that people usually mean when they ask this question. Those things never had much of a meaning to me after I grew out of them.

On the other hand, I have lots of old things because we divided our house hold items between us when Mom moved in with her SO and I moved on my own. So any number of plates and some drinking glasses, a kitchen table and chairs and some other funiture are from my childhood... the kitchen table and chairs are newer than the plates, because we originally had benches instead of chairs in the kitchen. The plates are at least so old that I don't remember eating from any other plates as a kid at home. Whether they're older than me... it's a real possibility!

I sometimes think about recycling the drinking glasses and the plates and buying new ones, but the truth is, the old design is really functional! Much better to hold etc. than what's been available in the shops for the past 20 years or so. Same with the forks and knives. I've only bought new serrated and cutting knives myself. I got some forks and knives for free with some purchase or other maybe 20 years ago, and those too are much more clumsy and unattractive than my old, old forks and knives that we already had when I was a kid.

The plates and drinking glasses are by Arabia which has been a Finnish staple for kitchen stuff for over 100 years, and thanked for being both functional and aesthetic in design. The ones I have are not the expensive, collectable/special occasion ones but the ones for laverage income families and meant for everyday use. So I guess it isn't a wonder that they just work.

4. In what book would you insert yourself as a side character or friend to the protagonist?

I never insert myself. Instead I imagine myself to be an existing character, usually my favorite character, so someone particularly interesting.

5. What's your favorite shape or type of cloud?

Any that covers the sun. I don't pay attention to clouds otherwise.

Answers to today's questions at f.riday5.com

1. What does it take to make your way in the world today?

Callous ruthlessness and sheer luck.

2. Where do you go to take a break from all your worries?

Nowhere. Closest I get is spending time with my Mom.

3. Where does everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came? (or where did everybody know your name and were always glad you came?)

At my Mom's.

4. Which no-longer-in-business establishments are you nostalgic for, and is nostalgia generally a positive or negative emotion?

I can't think of a business that I miss.

But I'm nostalgic for the fresh breads, cheese and meats counters that were in all the grocery shops in the 1980s when I was a kid. The bread counters had all sorts of delicious bakes that varied from shop to shop and you could ask only for as much as you needed, instead of having to buy a huge family size pack. Same with the meats and cheeses. Now all those are either too big packages for one person household, or too small package, or the right-size package but double the price of the family size. It's maddening. And all the bakes are majority the same everywhere now.

5. Which television shows have great opening theme songs with opening title sequences?

Miami Vice, Silk Stalkings and many others but those two are the ones that first came to mind!

My Mom's SO slipped week ago on the Monday night outside their home late in the evening, and broke his hip :-( It's been such an icy, slippery weather that's caused so many falls that they only got to operate on him two days later on Wednesday. He's still in the hospital. He was moved to the rehabilitative ortogeriatric hospital which specializes in exactly these sort of injuries. He's been doing well but he'd like Mom to visit every day and she's not up for it. She needs to rest too! The hardest thing I think for him is that he is a heavy smoker, and can't smoke at all in that hospital - he can't get to the smoking area by himself (it' too long a walk for now) and certainly nurses won't take him. They say he might have to stay in the hospital even up to a month. They say on their webpage that the goal is to rehabilitate so well that the old person regains his mobility level he had before the fall (or better), if at all possible and so can safely return home and active life. Sounds good! But all is up in the air right now as to what, when and so on and so forth.

I myself self haven't slept in 48 hours now. I just lay awake and tossed and turned, did not sleep a wink. I tried to take a nap starting a few hours ago, and I think I catnapped maybe? I feel slightly lighter as if I did. I saw a nurse in my health station who had consulted with my GP, and I'm going to try Tenox which helps in getting to sleep. I've used it before several years ago when I had bad insomnia and then it helped. So we figured to try and start with that. The triage nurse in the phone was very kind and thorough when she interviewed me when I called in first thing in the morning, took at least 15 minutes to speaking to her. Last week I had only slept every other night, and Monday night I didn't sleep at all and had 2 migraine attacks during the day then, with another trying to break through the rest of the evening and last night. I hope Tenox helps! It'd be a lot easier and faster than anything else.

Yesterday in addition to the migraines I had a bad day: I was cold, then hot, then cold, restless, couldn't concentrate on anything, walked back and forth, and my belly hurt due to either having my period or just general Crohn's Disease fuckery or maybe both, I'm still not sure. The hot/cold thing, restlessness etc. is quite often usual now during certain type of my migraine. The bad thing is I was supposed to partake in a job searching course arranged by TE-toimisto which was mandatory once I had agreed to it, so today when I hadn't slept for 40+ hours come morning, I had to contact the health station to get a permission slip/doctor's note to give the unemployment agency. So that's fun. Bureaucracy. But it's a good thing I did it - I managed to participate yesterday because it's a remote course done with MS Teams, but I was walking in front of my laptop and in pain the whole time. And think the properly as I like to do, fill the tasks. I couldn't have dealt with that today at all. So I'm in sick leave today and tomorrow because of insomnia and it making my migraine worse. The course is tomorrow too but the nurse said the important thing now is to cut off the insomnia because sleep is so important but also because the insomnia is aggravating the migraine and that should tried to be cut off, given my history, so I'll miss tomorrow's course too. It's a 3 day course, and I miss 2 days of it.

I'm actually sad about it - it was about the current jobs situation in my area, and current ways of finding a job which I could use an update on considering the last one I had was in 2017. Also about CVs, how to make an effective application for different types of jobs. The teacher still shares the docs with me because I was on for the first day, and there's free personal tutoring available with this course, and he said I'm welcome to contact him when I'm feeling better. So that's nice!

Answers to today's questions at thefridayfive@DW.

1. Do you cook regularly or does someone else cook for you?

Nobody cooks for me as I live alone, and I don't cook regularly either because of my chronic illnesses. I rather use my energy for baking, so I buy and eat a lot of ready-to-heat casseroles and vegetable soups. I usually cook 2-3 times a month and usually make something that'll last me for a week or so as dinner. And when I do cook, I use a lot of semi-finished products such as frozen sliced potatoes because as a spoonie I only have so much energy to use, and using things like that help conserve my energy to do other things as well that day.

Usually when I visit my Mom, we time it so that I eat there. It's always around lunch time because that's when they have their main meal. It's a real treat to eat food cooked by someone else, made even better that usually she makes one our old favorites that we all love but don't make that often... so not only it's that someone cooks for me (or we cook together) and the food is really tasty but also good company while eating! Except for those visits, I always eat alone so it's all kinds of special :-D 

2. Which are you better at making: sweet or savory foods?

I have more experience making sweet foods (meaning: baking) so I guess that. But I'm pretty good at both, just limited in what I bother to make because I'm not very adventurous eater - I used to be picky, and guess still am. It's just that there are textures I don't like (they make me gag and even throw up if forced to continue), and certain tastes I tolerate if I have to but don't use myself. I tend to stick to recipes I've enjoyed, or new ones that I think I might enjoy because they don't have any of my no-thank-yous and not try out a lot of new tastes etc. I think my taste is also rather bland - as an example, I don't like even mildly actually-spicy food - a bit of salt and black pepper is usually enough for me for most foods. Also as an example, I hate onions (which are a Finnish stable and put in pretty much all cooked meals or so it feels like) so I never use them and luckily nobody can complain to me about it because I only cook for myself!

3. If you had to work as a chef in a restaurant of your choice, which restaurant would best complement your current culinary skills?

I never eat in restaurants so I can't name names, but it'd have to be one that specializes in home cooked food, with a menu of only maybe a dozen different meals on it at most. And each day would have only 2 different meals + one vegetable soup on offer. But really, I'm physically unable to work in that environment so I'd be fired before first week is out.

4. What is a cooking tip that you know, but other people generally aren’t aware of?

I can't think of one...

5. Do you have a recipe you would like to share?

This one is one of my favorite casseroles, very quick and easy to make: https://www.k-ruoka.fi/reseptit/helppo-kinkkukiusaus I made it as-is the first time but felt it missed some "oomph" so now I also add 150g of grated blue cheese. I just love blue cheese and think it goes very well with the other ingredients. I also usually add in grated pizza cheese on the top after about half of the time in the oven for a pretty topping.

Mokkapalat (Coffee Pieces) is a baking favorite of mine. The recipe I use is from: https://cebicinkeittio.blogspot.com/2018/12/maailman-parhaat-mokkapalat.html I guess it's kind of like a brownie? Mokkapalat is one of the stable bakes here in Finland. All kids and teens make it in school at the very least, and lots and lots of (most?) families bake them at least when their kids are small. There are about a million slightly different recipes but this is the one that I think is above all others (and I've tried like a dozen!). The cake part is soft and moist just right and the topping is enough for once (in the other recipes, you usually had to make the topping as double to get enough to cover the entire thing just barely thickly enough). I always use a Frezza Choco Loco cold coffee drink in place of the coffee in this recipe (old fashioned coffee as in the recipe is too strongly coffee tasting to me so I use one of the Frezzas).

These two have been my favorite things to make the last few years :-D 

Answers to http://f.riday5.com/2024/01/19/friday-5-for-january-19-random-topic-generator/

1. How much experience do you have with tobacco?

No personal experience at all - I've never even tried it. The smell's awful.

2. What have you made with wood?

Back in school, in the short wood work course I made a little ship. That's all.

3. What do you think of farmers markets in your area?

I'm not sure we have farmers markets here, but we do have market squares where farmers, bakers and flower growers etc. can sell their things. Most only sell during summer. When I was a kid in the 1980s the market square was filled with sellers, dozens and dozens of them and practically everyone bought their potatoes, carrots etc. there. The produce were domestic and of good quality - better than in shops. But nowadays, it's vice versa a lot. I think it started to change in the early 1990s but I'm not sure - I just know that by the time I was an adult (I turned 20 in 1994), the number of sellers had halfed. And now only a handful remain.

They renovated the market square last year, after first building an underground parking carage under it, and now there are some sort of cafes/restaurants there in addition to the produce sellers, some of which I think operate only during the summer. There's also supposed to be events etc. there during the summer.

4. What’s a good movie, novel, or TV show containing a shipwreck?

Alien.

5. What’s a good song with the word magic in its title or lyrics?

Black Magic Woman by Santana

Got my hair cut today ✨ Yay! ✨ I went to the hair dressing school where students under the watchful eye of the teacher offer hair cuts, coloring etc. for a minimal price. I've had my hair colored once and cut twice or three times and the results have always been good! It's good alternative when the regular prices are too much, but it does take a lot more time so can't be in a hurry.

Answers to today's questions at thefridayfive.

1. What is your current main mode of transportation? e.g. car, bike, subway, walking, etc.

Busses are my main way to get where I need to go.

It's actually been public transport, namely local busses, for most of my life starting with school. I also walk some, but now with the chronic illnesses, less than I used to and not willingly.

When I was a student in library school and lived in the Helsiki metropolitan area, I also used local metropolitan area busses along with metro train (underground train) and commuter train (overground train servicing Helsinki metropolitan area cities), but also long distance trains to my home city of Turku.

2. Are you satisfied with your current main mode of transportation (answer to question 1)? Why?

I am, for the most part! My home city has a good public transport (busses) system and you don't necessarily need a car, depending on your circumstances and where exactly you live. I can get by bus everywher I need to go, including friends' and family's places. I do wish the ticket price were lower, and they wouldn't increase every year but that because I'm poor so everything feels expensive to me.

I'm also kind of nervous about the upcoming, planned changes for the bus system they're planning for I think, 2025. What it looks like is that the bus routes designated "central lines" stay good and mine is one of these, but the secondary routes, designated "feed lines" seem to get worse both in run times and accessibility such as routes, locations and number of stops. A lot of reviews say the same, so we'll see what happens with the plans.

I did have my Mom's car for something like 17 years, but even then I always judged where and when I was going and whether the car or a bus was the most handy way that time. But now I haven't had a car for about 7 years and although it was very handy for getting around to random libraries or big shops inconveniently located by bus or picking up packages, I actually only rarely miss having a car - usually when I need to transport something awkward sized home. There is also the fact that due to being so tired all the time, the last few years I had the car I didn't always dare to drive - I feared I'd get into an accident and kill someone because I was too tired and my reaction time was too slow or I wouldn't notice something. So in my case, not driving is also a safety concern even though I haven't been forbidden to drive by the docters.

3. Do you think you'll change your means of transit soon? e.g. buy a car, get rid of your car, walk more etc.? If so, why?

Busses will continue to be main main mode of transport, but I'd like to walk more. I've occasionally thought about bying a bike - I used to bike everywhere when I was a kid and like an idiot, stopped that when I went to library school and never restarted again. I always liked biking more than walking.

4. If time, distance and money were not factors, how do you prefer to get from point A to point B?

I'm good with busses. But I admit, if truly money wasn't an issue at all, I'd also have a car just for the convenience.

5. What was your worst transit experience?

I can't think of a truly bad transit experience... mostly just if I'm on the move during a rush hour, the busses can be so full lugging shopping bags can be inconvenient, or waiting for the bus in a hard rain etc. Mostly personally for me, it's the rush hour smells and noise because they can trigger a migraine attack or if I'm already in the middle of one, make it worse. But this is a me problem.

This year spiffikins at Dreamwidth put together daily questions for the year :-D 

1. What’s the Coolest Thing You’ve Ever Seen in Nature?

There's quite a few cool things in nature and I can't say which is the coolest above all others... but snowflakes are right up there among the very coolest!

2. Could You Stop Shopping for an Entire Year?

I assume this means non-essentials and that things like bras and skin care (makes my skin better but no doctor's orders to use these products) are counted as essential?

If so, then I think yes I could. I don't buy a lot of stuff in addition to essentials, due not having money and due to not really being into shopping and never have been. I only buy most things (clothes, electronics etc.) when I need new ones because they're breaking, worn through, or are getting old enough that my programs don't run well anymore. The only things I buy for the fun of it are fountains pens and fountain pen inks, fountain pen friendly notebooks and stickers. I only buy stickers when I'm running out so about once a year if that, but I could stop buying fountain pens and related stuff for a year, if I wanted to. Especially as currently I'm quite happy with the fountain pens I have and don't feel a huge need for a new one! It's ink which might be more difficult - I love trying out new inks! And I have enough fountain pen friendly notebooks to last me a few years (unless I start to journal or writing stories a lot more than up until now) so I wouldn't need a new notebook either for a year. So, yes I could stop shopping these sorts of things for a year.

Now, if that means that I can't buy candy, chocolate and Frezza cold coffees which aren't necessary for survival... that's a whole other ball game! I could reduce the amount I buy, but I couldn't stop entirely there. And it'd be hard for me mentally to do it.

3. What National or International Events That You Lived Through Do You Remember Best?

Well, obviously COVID-19 and Russia's invasion of Ukraine. But also, the Estonia sinking, 9/11... those I think I remember the best.

Also, having the left leaning Antti Rinne/Sanna Marin's government in power 2019-2023. It was the first time in my adult life when I felt hopeful about a government. And I was/am so relieved that it was Marin's government in power particularly through COVID-19. It horrified me to think how things would have gone during COVID-19 if the far-right current government had been in power then, or even just a government headed by Kokoomus (a right wing party).

4. Are Your Eating Habits Healthy?

No, but they are better than they used to be until about 6 years ago!

5. How Do You Fight the Winter Blues?

What winter blues? I LOVE winter; it's my second favorite season right after fall.

6. Does Technology Make Us More Alone?

Not technology, but social media does.

7. What Are the Most Important Changes, in Your Life and in the World, in the Last Decade?

My life: got the Crohn's Disease diagnosis. Got Crohn's Disease symptoms under much better control in the last 3 years. Chronic migraine is now better than it was 10 years ago, even though it's still bad.

World: Social media. Rise of right wing and far right wing politics, increase in hate speech.

8. How Do You Greet Your Friends and Family?

Um, I think usually with a smile and saying "Moi!" or "Hei!" (Hi!). We don't usually hug when greeting, if it happens it's usually during the visit or when saying goodbyes.

9. Would You Want to Be a Space Tourist?

Yes!

10. Do You Trust Your Government?

The current far right-wing governemt? Not for a red hot second! Or rather I trust them to do all the things that are bad for immigrants, the poor, the sick, the unemployed, the regular worker, the regular joe. I trust them to hand over all the moneys and all the power to the owning class, the rich, the employers. I DO NOT trust them to look after the best interests of the nation and country as a whole.

11. How Much Do You Think About Your Weight?

A little. Not too much.

12. How Much Do You Trust Online Reviews?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on how real they feel.

13. How Do You Feel About Zoos?

Not any particular way. They can be fun places to visit but I don't think of them beyond that.

14. What Could You Not Live Without? What Could You Live Without?

Not without: Housing. You can't survive in Finnish winters without a roof over your head. Books. Your spirit needs nutrition too!

Without: Social media.

15. What Are Your Experiences With Severe Weather?

I'm not sure what counts as severe weather? The only weather that I've personally experiences and would call severe are the heat wave days of summer, when outside temperature get to 25 degrees Celcius and higher, especially if it lasts for weeks like it didn't a few summers ago when it lasted for 3 months without a break. Hot weather I can't handle, I hate it.

I'm good with hard rain, and freezing temperatures. This week we've been having around -18 degrees Celcius (with "feels like" degree of around -28) and it's no big deal. I actually think it's been a lovely, "real" winter week. You just dress appropriately!

16. How Close Are/Were You to Your Parents?

My Dad died in 1989 when I was 14; we were close as a family. We did a lot of things together and liked being together. I'm still very close to my Mom even though I don't get to see her as often as I'd like due my illnesses and my Mom's and her SO's illnesses and getting on in age.

17. What Are Your Favorite Commercials?

I don't watch commercials, haven't for at least 18 years. In the 80s or 90s there was this one commercial for jeans that I liked because I loved the song played. I've never found it online.

18. How Well Do You Sleep?

Not well. I have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, and the sleep isn't refreshing. I always wake up almost as tired as when I went to bed. I used to suffer badly from insomnia a few years ago for several years; the longest I couldn't sleep once was 4 days. It's not as bad as that anymore, but it's not great.

19. What Would You Create if You Had Funding?

Something that would fund research for migraines and chronic migraines, probably.

20. What Movies, Shows or Books Do You Wish Had Sequels, Spinoffs or New Episodes?

I wished they'd made the SGA movie that was in the plans when the show ended. I wanted to see Atlantis returned to Pegasus galaxy!

21. Do You Like Scary Movies and Books?

Yes and yes!

22. What Are the Best Things You’ve Acquired Secondhand?

Comics and books.

23. Do You Believe That Everything Happens for a Reason?

Not sure. If they do, the Reason, whatever it is, seems to suck!

24. Do You Believe in Intelligent Alien Life?

Yes.

25. Have You Ever Felt Pressured by Family or Others in Making an Important Decision About Your Future?

Not really. Maybe very light pressure, for short while, in a not dead serious way?

26. Would You Like to Ride in a Car That Drives Itself?

Not right now I wouldn't. But if the technology is proved safe in the future, unhackable and fool proof, sure.

27. Do Your Television Viewing Habits Include ‘Binge-Watching’?

Absolutely, and since I was a kid in 1980s so long before it the term was coined.

28. What’s Your Sunday Routine?

Sunday's just another day, no special routine. The only routine is the same as other days - taking certain meds at certain hours.

29. Have You Ever Interacted With the Police?

Sure.

30. Should Prostitution Be Legal?

I don't know.

31. Do You Worry A Lot About Germs?

Nope.

The first friday five questions of the year at Dreamwidth.

1. In what ways do you expect/hope this year to be better than last year?

I don't really hope/expect 2024 to be better per se, but for the first time in 15 years I feel like this year my health problems might stay stable and at the level they are now. All the other years for the last 15 years I've either known the health stuff is going get worse, or have had a doomed feeling. But now I feel like I've reached a stable state and while setbacks and/or new health problems are always possible what with the Crohn's Disease and anemia and all, I don't feel like I'm automatically doomed to get worse.

I'll happily settle this if it does turn out to be a boring year health problems wise!

2. In what ways do you expect/hope this year to be worse than last year?

Personally: financially and bureautically. There are several law changes in the pipeline by the new far-right wing government that will make my living situation worse.

Politically: the far-right wing government is making changes in employment, housing, social and wellfare laws that mean bad things for the unemployed, low wage earners, the sick, the kids, education, health care and more. Basically everyone who is not among the richest 10% are going to suffer in one way or another, and the lower your income, the more you suffer. The right-wing government are attacking on several fronts, and many of their new proposed laws actually are in contradiction of their stated government programme goals. It's being said that the government is effecting a paradigm shift in how Finland views many things, even human rights.

The employee Unions and many research etc. organizations are warning of the effects of the new laws and trying to resist the law changes. It's looking like the country might be heading into the general strike for the first time since 1956.

3. What year would you travel back to if you could?

I'm not sure. Part of me would like to go back to my childhood when everything was carefree - but I'd really actually hate having to go through school again.

On the other hand, I think it'd be best if I went back to 2008 - I could try and get my migraines sorted out so that they don't go chronic and daily. And also to get a breast reduction done then before the onset of Type 2 Diabetes - because I've noticed my wounds don't heal that well anymore so I don't think I'll have it done anymore because of that.

On third hand, if I went back to 1994 May onwards I'd get to be with my Mom's Beagle pup! She counted be as part of her pack and I loved her like crazy.

4. What was your worst year?

2008. That is a divider for me - there is before 2008, and there is after 2008. It isn't actually the worst but it's the watershead of my life. Before 2008 I was healthy with a future, and after I'm not and don't.

The actual fucking worst are the years when I didn't know what the fuck was going on with my bowels and whether I could hope for normal bowel function again some day while suffering from horrible daily headaches and migraine attacks 3 times a week - but that time frame went on for so many years and I can't pin point just one year.

5. What was your best year?

1994-1995. I finished library school, the future was wide open in front of me, full of hope and my Mom got a Beagle puppy who loved me as much as I her. Definitely maybe the best time of my life.