by Answers to today’s questions at thefridayfive@Dreamwidth ✨
1. How far back can you trace your family tree?
Not far at all! I knew my adopted Mom’s Mom but her Dad my Grandpa died 10 years before I was born. Grandma was a homemaker and moved from the country to the city as a young girl in 1930s, and my Grandpa’s family originated from Russia but they were living in Finland by the time Finland declared its independence in 1917. I don’t know in more detail than that or further back for either family’s history.
I met my adopted Dad’s Mom when I was a kid but I didn’t know her – we didn’t have much to do with her, not sure why. I… can’t remember Dad’s father? I’m not sure whether he was still alive when I was a kid or not. No memory whatsoever. I remember once when I was a teenager after Dad had died and Mom and I were out shopping, we ran into Dad’s mother and I did not recognize her. I don’t know really anything about my Dad’s side other than that he had had to leave to a different city chasing work when he was a very young man, that he moved from city to city until he found a permanent job here and that he had one sister we saw regularly usually twice a year until Dad died. That was the only real contact we had with Dad’s family.
I don’t know anything about my bio family other than that I have several full siblings and several half-siblings. I’m unclear on the exact number. And that there are both headache and stomach problems in one or both sides of the family, so I’m not an outlier on that level!
2. What is the most interesting (or strange) thing you’ve heard about one of your relatives?
Nothing strange, but I’ve always thought it interesting the my adopted Mom’s Dad (the one who died 10 years before I was born) was a traveling salesman, and he went to places such as China because of his work (this would’ve been the 1940s/1950s/1960s.) He was also involved in the local politics, the Social Democrats/Left side if I’ve understood correctly. I also love the two wall hangings depicting nature scenes he brought to Grandma from China – they are sewn/knitted/some-other-handicraft but they are so photo-realistic that I always thought they were photos! I was over 20 years old when we got to talking about them with my Mom and she told me that they aren’t photos at all!
3. How do you feel about legacy names like John Henry Smith IV or naming children after other relatives?
I’m not sure legacy names are much of a thing here? At least I’ve never known one who has a legacy name (or at least doesn’t use the whole thing in which case nobody might realize it’s a legacy name) and I can’t even think of a celebrity or a politician who has one. In either case, I don’t really think much about it. Probably Finland doesn’t have enough rich or noble families that are old enough and that also want to make use of such convention.
I’m kind of iffy about naming children after relatives – second/middle name is totally fine, but first name can by iffy… it depends on the relationship, whether the relative is still alive and if they’re dead, the cause of the death. I mean if it’s a grandparent or a relative you’re not close to, it’s totally fine. But if it’s a sibling/cousin that died young I feel that’s icky like the new baby would be replacement for the one lost young.
4. Would you consider yourself and/or your family to be traditional?
In some really major ways my adopted parents and me, we are not traditional. Since before I was born, we have not “belonged to the church” which is rare (but has been coming more and more common over the last decades), so I was the only one who didn’t have to attend the religion classes at school. My Dad died of cancer when he was 50 and when I was 14 which is not common. When Mom found a new man, they never married and have been living together now for 30 years without ever getting married. Which is almost unheard of in their age group. Mom couldn’t have children, so Mom and Dad adopted. Which is quite rare. My Mom’s best friend never married, never had children and the whole time I’ve known her (50 years), never been seeing anyone either.
As for me, I myself never wanted children and never had them, never have been married or never lived together with a romantic partner. Both of which is not that common in my age group. I’m seriously ill with several chronic conditions that limit my ability to function, which isn’t common in this extent. I’ve also never had a long term, permanent job but that seems pretty common in my age group for certain professions. And in general, more and more common for people younger than me regardless of profession.
So in many ways, we are not traditional at all.
5. What is one tradition you have passed on to your children and/or plan to pass on to them?
Like I said, never wanted children and never had them so this question is irrelevant.
I was also (most of the time) the only one who didn’t attend the religion classes at school. I was born four years before the fall of communism in Poland. Religion was not something the communist regime approved of so there were no religion classes at school back then. However, when I started to attend school in the early 90s, religion classes had already been introduced. My parents and I have always been atheists, which was also not so common in Poland at that time, and also not very popular. Most Polish people were religious, even during the communist times. As in Finland, it has changed more recently. So my parents had a difficult decision whether I should attend the religion classes or not. Not attending them meant being somehow singled out. In the end they decided that it’s better that I don’t attend because I can always decide to follow a religion in the future if I want to. I think they made the right choice.
That’s my thinking too – that an adult can make up their own mind about following a religion, but children should only get taught information about various religions, but not taught to believe in any. I don’t have children, but if I did, that what I would’ve done with them.