It’s the third heat wave week here, and I’ve been dealing with it better than ever before (even than when I was healthy!) this year – last night was the first night I felt like the heat didn’t dissipate inside after sundown. And so it was too hot to sleep – I was able to lay down only for about 4 hours, and I do think I dozed off but none of it was proper sleep. So now I’m feeling like a zombie. Good news is that Sunday should be the last truly hot day, Monday should be warm and then onwards as far as the prediction goes, 20 degrees Celcius or below, which these days to me is cool. I can’t wait! 😀 *dances happily*

I’ve noticed the last, I don’t know… 5 years that I don’t run as hot anymore as I used to. My body temperature used to be 37 (Celcius) normally, and I used to get hot really fast and easily – like after shower, if I put on clothers within the first half hour, I’d get sweaty. In the summer, anything above 18 (Celcius) was too hot to me, and 25 and above I felt like I was dying. Now my body temperature is between 35,5-35,8 whenever I check it, and in the summer, 18 feels down right cold!

These last three weeks, I’ve been able to go entire days only using my fan for 2-4 hours in the late afternoon and evening – contrast that to having to run it routinely for 10-22 hours every day during previous heat waves! Indoors temperatures are the same as previous summers. So something’s definitely been changing in my heat tolerance the last several years, not to mention the lowered body temp! I first noticed this change in my body temp maybe a year after my week long stint in the hospital back in 2014 (I’ve made past posts about that, so I won’t go into it now). That was a serious, huge thing and apparently it somehow changed body chemistry in this way. I asked my doctor about this change the first year I noticed it, and she said that because the lowered body temp wasn’t caused by something like hypothermia cause by falling into icy sea or river in the winter, there’s no need to worry about it. So I don’t – I just marvel! I must admit summer is now easier, and I also like that I can get dressed right away after shower.

In other health news, I’ve been in Crohn’s Disease flare since January, and depending on what the lab tests show about how my body is responding to increased/new medication, we may have to consider starting a biologic in the autumn. I’m better than I was in the spring, but I don’t think I’m good – I have pains too often, and the diarrhea goes sort of out of control too often. I’m back to having daily migraine attacks again, I’m sure brought on by stress caused by the Crohn’s flare and the worry about COVID-19 (I’m in the risk group because of three reasons, and so are my Mom and her SO) even though I’ve been trying to be reasonable about it, take appropriate precautions and otherwise not worry too much, and think have largely succeeded but nevertheless, it’s always in the back of my mind when I go grocery shopping etc. that it’s a risk. (And no, I’m too poor to use online grocery ordering frequently, and I also don’t have a car so have to go shopping weekly or twice a week.). I’ve been feeling like all this put together, I can’t start KUTY (rehabilitation at work, roughly translated) in next two months or so a planned) without making my health even worse. I don’t have any energy left  once I’ve taken care of all the everyday things at home. Haven’t even been able to do any real life art for a couple of months now, and only a few things in Photoshop 🙁 So when I talk to my doctor on Monday, I’m going to talk to her about a sick leave and a longer one at that. I feel like that is the right option for me right now, that the unemployment benefit isn’t the one for me in this situation.

So that’s what’s been going with me the last six months. Better and worse health seasons cycle around, but I never seem to reach a state where I could go back to work 🙁 In the last two years I’ve slowly been coming to the conclusion and acceptance that I should be on permanent disability, or barring that, a temporary one, or barring that, a long sick leave. Whenever I try rehabilitation, I either get worse, or otherwise, can’t even start it because a worse season has come about. It’s frustrating. Permanent/temp disabilities are hard to get, as is long sick leave, but mentally I’d feel less stressed because obviously I’m not able to work even part time, never mind full time, and unemployment isn’t originally meant for people like me. But I’m one of tens of thousands on unemployment because permanent/temp disabilities and long sick leaves are hard to get from the doctors, and even harder to get approved by KELA. There are a lot of good things in the Finnish social security system, but also lot of bad things that need to developed to work better with current reality!